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dr_con

First Response

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dr_con

First Response

 

Poets are biographical cannibals

sometimes savage and glutinous

lips smacking gristle

awash in meat juice

 

or a connoisseur's precision

marrow on toast, the bones

of Ortolan Bunting, delicious

cracking of exquisite sins-

 

the best, of course have humble

origins, a black bread tomato

sandwich, maybe a slice of goat

cheese, the gastronomy of wet

and seasonal herbs growing

along this park on my way

to the store, mouth open

I am huffing great gulps

 

of green working

on this smell of soil

as both life and death

a metaphor of living awake

and buried asleep, when

 

 

With a great Crash

Motorcycle and Car

briefly joined, pulls a crowd

telling the rider to lie still

cell phones calling 911

 

I reflect on my not doing

not sure what I can add

unlike my Father

not knowing what to do

with me after the burning

stump incident and a life

of scars, becoming a volunteer

ambulance driver, later the local

president, always at the ready

to intervene, but as a poet

I just observe and digest

 

Past cops, and firetrucks

homeless grifters taunting

the crowd with the innocent

excitement of children, voluntary

interviews, of First Responders and

a gradual dispersion, the rider stripped

of his helmet and jacket, allowed to stand

the driver, tense and nervous allowed in

They hug without pretense, grateful to be alive

 

and part of this fine dinner.


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JoelJosol

What attracted me is the framework of contexts weaved together so cleverly as each stanza segued into the other.

 

The title "First Responder" I thought was a tongue-in-cheek mockery of people who plain observe rather than help out in situations like this. And how this define the boundaries of poets as either participant or witness.

 

Nice.


"Words are not things, and yet they are not non-things either." - Ann Lauterbach

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Frank E Gibbard

May I be the second responder DC to praise this observant piece full of background detail and brilliant observation IMO. Frank

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dr_con

Thanks JJ & Frank!

 

Much Appreciation, as always...

 

DC


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douglas

hi dr con - i particularly love the first four stanzas - they stand very powerfully together carrying an excellent theme and clever analogy - however, i was swayed and taken off course a bit by the following three - to me they seem another part or entirely different poem - i got a bit thrown and lost there... icon_neutral.gif but wonderful emotive words written with skill and precision as usual, nonetheless (just my humble opinion!) icon_wink.gif


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dr_con

Thanks for commenting Douglas! icon_biggrin.png

 

Well, to me the first 3 stanzas are a hypothesis and the last grouping a thesis. It was written, all of a piece to describe a 'Real' world experience and all of the layers of consequences, mentally it was created in reverse, meaning the event happened, and then I considered how e cannibalize 'real' moments...

 

 

 

icon_cool.gif

 

Thanks once again!

 

DC


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tonyv

You must have been at a sidewalk cafe when this incident took place, Dr. Con. This part moved me:

I reflect on my not doing

not sure what I can add

unlike my Father ...

because I sometimes feel the same way. Judging by our ages (yours and mine), our parents are probably from the same generation. The members of the so-called "Greatest Generation" (my parents are slightly younger, from a small generation which came immediately after that one, but okay, close enough) did seem to have a different spirit, a can-do attitude, for the most part (except when it came to government; then it was blind allegiance coupled with a "you can't fight city hall" mentality icon_mad.gif ). So, yes, though I don't always agree with my father -- it's normal for grownups to disagree on things -- I nevertheless look at him with respect an admiration.

 

As for the "first responders," it's wonderful when they are truly heroic and actually save people, but I do have some mixed feelings about them. It seems a lot of them are in it for the glory, and (around here, especially) I could swear there's a lot of drama and intentional tying up of traffic ... probably waiting for the media to arrive.

 

This part is refreshing and, if true, incredible:

... the rider stripped

of his helmet and jacket, allowed to stand

the driver, tense and nervous allowed in

They hug without pretense, grateful to be alive ...

It's like something from the other time or generation -- Old School ... the old way. I just get sued even when I'm obviously not at fault.

 

This was an amusing account. I enjoyed how it was based on actual events.

 

Tony


Here is a link to an index of my works on this site: tonyv's Member Archive topic

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Tinker

Hi DC, This was great! icon_smile.gif You set the table for a lavish banquet and the fare didn't disappoint. The meticulous detail observed, the personal insight shared, and a hug at the end. I certainly didn't leave this feast hungry but I will be back for more.

 

I loved especially loved when you shared your own life experience with your Dad, I was very touched. Nice work.

 

~~Tink


~~ © ~~ Poems by Judi Van Gorder ~~

For permission to use this work you can write to Tinker1111@icloud.com

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dr_con

Thanks Tony, Tinker! Yup the hug actually happened, two guys in their 20s, I think that they were both "at Fault' bad corner anyhow, I was stunned- greatly appreciate the feedback...

 

icon_biggrin.png

 

DC


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douglas

upon a second reading - less hurried - i have been able to absorb the poem properly - it is lovely and your guidance helped me too! sometimes my head is too in the clouds! got it! thank you dr con! icon_biggrin.png


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Aleksandra

I can't say much here, because I just feel this poem, and can't express myself and my feelings. But I love it.

I like how Tony commented on this poem, and I found pretty close to my feelings, and thoughts in most of the parts.

 

This is well written poem Dr.con, I like the title and the speed of the sound.

 

Thanks for sharing.

 

Aleksandra


The poet is a liar who always speaks the truth - Jean Cocteau

History of Macedonia

 

 

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dr_con

Thanks Tony Aleks! No worries Tony, most times my poems don't appeal to everyone, and you have an absolute right to your response;-) no judgement...

 

I often think we would all be better served if we read everyone's poems as if they were already canonized, and a well meaning teacher had just given them to us to evaluate;-)

 

Much Grace!

 

DC


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tonyv

dr_con wrote:

 

No worries Tony, most times my poems don't appeal to everyone, and you have an absolute right to your response;-) no judgement...

 

I often think we would all be better served if we read everyone's poems as if they were already canonized, and a well meaning teacher had just given them to us to evaluate

But Dr. C ... the poem did appeal to me.:| I liked it a lot!

 

Tony


Here is a link to an index of my works on this site: tonyv's Member Archive topic

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dr_con

Whoops! icon_redface.gif

 

I meant Douglas, who on rereading got-it, but sometimes first response is best;-)

 

Sorry, brain on automatic these days;-) or rather too much going on, and therefore:

 

DC

icon_cyclops.gif


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