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Island Fiction

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badger11

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I could murder a cuppa
  mutters a knitting voice,
her claws purling patterns
  the Fair Isle way.

The kettle whistles, the brew
  as warming as a jumper -
outside gulls rock and roll
  drunk on a burgundy sky.

 

================================

revision2

I could murder a cuppa
mutters a knitting voice,
her claws purling patterns
the Fair Isle way.

But fear not curious carer,
this is no Madame Defarge
clicking a guillotine script.
Here folk tell their own tales.

The kettle whistles, the brew
as warming as a jumper -
outside gulls rock and roll
drunk on a burgundy sky.

===================================

revision

I could murder a cuppa
mutters a knitting voice,
her claws purling patterns
the Fair Isle way.

Ponder not curious reader,
this is no Madame Defarge
clicking a guillotine script.
This artisan tells her own tale.

 

original

I could murder a cuppa
mutters a knitting voice,
her claws purling patterns
the Fair Isle way.

But fear not studious carer,
this is no Madame Defarge
clicking her guillotine codes.
Here folk tell their own tales.

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Tinker

Believe it or not I just saw something on the Shetland Islands of northern Scotland on the National Geographic station and I actually knew what you were talking about.

Prince_of_Wales,_painting_by_Lander.jpgI really loved the folksy sound and feel of this.  I would have liked it whether I knew about the knitting pattern and the setting or not.  The colloquialism, the knitting reference all led me to a place that I would love to explore.  And no, I could never master the art of knitting.  

~~Judi

 


~~ © ~~ Poems by Judi Van Gorder ~~

For permission to use this work you can write to Tinker1111@icloud.com

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badger11

Pleased you enjoyed Judi and the sense of 'local' translated. Of course, many of us don't stray far from familiar places when 'choosing' where to live.

all the best

Phil

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Tinker

That's the beauty of poetry, we can stay snug in our own home and still travel the world reading wonderful imagery like yours.  This poem puts me right there on the Fair Isle.

I understand changing the last line focusing on the subject of the poem, but from this traveler, I kind of liked thinking it wasn't one individual but she represented all the folks there. Each unique in their own way.  My vote, stick with the one who brought you.

~~Judi


~~ © ~~ Poems by Judi Van Gorder ~~

For permission to use this work you can write to Tinker1111@icloud.com

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badger11
Quote

I kind of liked thinking it wasn't one individual but she represented all the folks there.

Valid point Judi. Returned that line and some more.

cheers

Phil

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tonyv

Yes! Now, this poem is to my liking. The third verse makes it real. It puts me there, in the structure, where it's warm, smelling the coffee (not tea), and looking out into the harsh/cold/indifferent sky that never seems to phase the avians. The title is perfect, too.

Tony


Here is a link to an index of my works on this site: tonyv's Member Archive topic

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badger11

Thanks Judi and Tony. Still sags in S2, but pleased some pay off in S3.

cheers

Phil

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tonyv

yasss.jpgI'm excited! Eliminate the 2nd verse, and I don't care: this is still the best! When I read "island," I think Caribbean, but it's all the same when Fair Isle has it all, has everything I need. Kahlúa, girls who aren't uptight -- I'm not romaticizing it when I say this poem takes me there. I love it!

Tony 


Here is a link to an index of my works on this site: tonyv's Member Archive topic

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badger11

😀 Well thanks muchly Tony

all the best

Phil

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tonyv

Thank you, Phil. Sometimes I get excited, even a little dramatic. 

Tony :biggrin:


Here is a link to an index of my works on this site: tonyv's Member Archive topic

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