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jakecaller

snarling cup of coffee coffee poems

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jakecaller

Snarling Cup of Coffee    

 

 

 

 

I like to start my day with a hot cup of coffee

I pound down the coffee

First thing I do every day

as the dawning sun

Lights up my lonesome room

 

Yeah, but not just a simple cup of java Joe, but a God damn snarling sarcastic smarmy cup of coffee

 

I mean, - we are talking about an alcoholic, all speed ahead, always hot, always fresh, always there when I need it, angry, attitude talk to the hand Ztude, bad, bad assed, beats breaking, beatnik, bluesy, bitter, bitchy, bombs away, capitalistic, caffeinated up the ass, cinematic, communistic, Colombian grown, Costa Rican inspired, Cowabunga to the max, crazy assed, devilishly angelic, divine, divinely inspired, dyslexic, epic, extreme vetting, evil eye, expensive, erotic vision inducing, Ethiopian coffee house brewed, euphoric, freaky, freazoid, foxy, Frenched kissed, French brewed, funkified, foxy lady, graphic, GOD in my coffee, with Allah, Ganesh, Jesus, Kali, Buddha, Christians, Durga, Hindus, Mohamed, Jesus and Mo and their friend, the cosmic bar maid, Sai Babai, Shiva, Taoists,

 

Zoroastrians, drinking my god damned coffee in Hell;

 

growling, gnarly, happy, hard as ice, Hawaian blessed, high as a kite, hippie, hip, hipster, hip hoppy, hot as hell yet strangely sweet as heaven, jazzy, jealous, Kerouac approved, kick ass, kick my god damn ass to Tuesday, kick down the doors and take no prisoners, grown in the Vietnam highlands by exVietcong, Guatemalan grown, kiss ass, illegal in every state, imported from all over the god damn world,

 

insane, lovely, loony, lonely, lonesome, malodorous mean old rotten, motherfucking, nasty, narcotic, never whatever, never meh, never cold, not approved by the CIA, not approved by DHS, not approved for human consumption by the FDA, not your daddy’s sissified corporate cup of coffee, NOT DECAFE coffee, not your Denny’s truck driver weak as brown water cup of fake coffee, not your establishment friendly cup of coffee, Not your FBI coffee, Not FAKE Herbal coffee substitute, but a real cup of coffee, not your farmer brothers dinner crap, not made in America for Americans, not safe for work, not your Starbucks average expensive overpriced crappy corporate chain cup of coffee, Not pretentious, Not White House approved, not State Department safe, nuclear, Not Patriotic, operatic, Peets’s coffee approved,

 

paranoid, pornographic, psychotic, pontific, politically aware, rapping, rhyming, right here, right now in River city, rock and roll up the Yazoo, sad, sadistic, sarcastic, sassy, satanic, schizoid, shitting, silly, sexy, smarmy, smelly, smooth, snarky, snarling, stupid, stinking, sweet as honey, sweat inducing, symphonic, Trump can’t handle this coffee, vengeful, Wagnerian, wicked, with nutmeg and cinnamon swirls, with a hint of stevia, with a hint of vanilla, with a hint of rum, with a hint of whisky, with a hint of cherry, with a hint of fruit overtones, with a hint of drugs spicing up the coffee, spendific, speeding, splendid, superior accept no substitutes, survived the Vietnam war, the Iraq war, the Afghan war, the first and Second Korean war, World War 11, the war on poverty, the war on drugs, the war on black people, the sexual revolution,

 

Soulful as a summer’s night in MOTOWN- James Brown approved, TOP approved, Berkeley approved, the coffee that Jimmy Hendrix drank before he died, the coffee that Elvis drank on his last breakfast, the coffee that Barry White crooned as he drank his cup of coffee – and the coffee that made the white boy play stand up and play that funky music, the coffee that made Jonny B Goode play his guitar, and made Jonny bet the devil his soul after he drank his morning cup of righteous coffee and the coffee that make the Rolling Stones Rock and Roll, the coffee your mother warned you against drinking, the coffee that Napoleon drank when he became the Emperor of all Europe, the Coffee that Beethoven drank when he wrote the Ninth symphony, the coffee that Mozart drank as he wrote his last symphony, the coffee that Lincoln drank before he was killed, the Hemingway drank before he killed himself, the coffee that started the 60’s, and ended the 20th century,

 

the coffee that Lenin drank as he plotted revolution, the coffee that Hitler and Stalin drank with FDR as they divided up the world after World War 11, the cup that JFK drank before he was blown away, the coffee Jerry drinks while driving in cars with random celebrities and political figures, the coffee that Jon Stewart drinks before he goes on an epic take down of some foolish politico, the cup of Arabic coffee that Sadaam drank the day he was executed, the coffee that GW and Cheney drank when they bombed Baghdad, the Indian cup of coffee that Bid Laden drank before 9-11 and just before the seals blew his ass to hell, the cup of coffee that Tiger Woods drank with his mistresses while playing a 3, 000 dollar round of golf at Sandy Lane golf course in Barbados, the last legal drug that does what drugs should do, the cup of coffee that Obama drank when he became President, Vietnamese, Vienna brew, wacky, whimsical,

 

Whisky Tango Foxtrot, wild, weird, wonderful, WOW, Yabba dabba doo! Yada Yada yada Zappa’s favorite cup of cosmic coffee, and Zorro’s last cup of coffee, Good to the last drop rolled into one simple cup of hot coffee   

As I pound down that first cup of coffee

And fire up my synaptic nerve endings with endless supplies

Of caffeine induced neuron enhancing chemicals

 

I face the dawning day with trepidation and mind-numbing fear

I turn on the TV and watch the smarmy newscasters in their perfect hair

 

Lying through their perfect blazing white teeth

about the great success the government is having

Following the great leader's latest pronouncements

 

I want to scream

and shoot the TV

and run out side

 

Shouting

Stop the world!

I want to get

off this fucking crazy planet"

 

The earth does not care a whit

about my attitude problem

 

It merely shrugs

and moves around the Sun

In its appointed daily run

 

the universe whispers

in my ear

time to drink more coffee

for an attitude adjustment

 

And I sit down

The madness dissipating a bit

And enjoy my second cup

Of heaven and hell

In my morning cup of Joe

 

Coffee Revolutions

 

 

 

coffee cup

Coffee led to the American Revolution<span

As patriots drank coffee

To rebel against

the aristocratic English tea

 

Coffee started the London Stock Market

And started the gossip mills running

Every great invention

Was fed by coffee's sweet brew

sweet allure

 

All the great thinkers

All the great leaders

All were enslaved

to coffee's magic

 

I sing my praises

Of the great

glorious coffee lady

 

Long may she continue

To be my sweet companion

 

Long may coffee continue

To rule my heart

And set my heart

on fire

 

Ode to Coffee

 

 

 

Mistress of sacred love

Sacred lady of desire

 

You start my day

Setting my heart on fire

With your dark delicious brew 

 

And throughout the day

Whenever the mean old blues come by

You chase them away

 

With your bittersweet ambrosial brew

Every time I inhale your witch's brew

 

I am filled with power, light and love

And everything is al right Jack

If only for a few fleeting minutes

 

I love you oh coffee goddess

In all your magical forms

 

In the dark coffee of the dawning day

In the sizzling coffee in the mid morning break

In the afternoon siesta break

And in the post dinner desert drink

 

I love you my coffee mistress

You are my refuge

From this horrid world

 

And you are my secret lover

Never disappoint me, ever

I've never had a bad cup

Of that I can be sure

 

Even the dismal coffee

Served at Denny's at 3 am

Is still sweet loving coffee

 

Even the farmer brother's diner coffee

Excites me and gets me going

Asking for another cup of divine delight

 

Coffee always is there

It is always on and piping hot

With hidden dark secrets

Swirling in its liquid essence

 

Coffee is my last vice

My only legal vice left

 

Coffee does not cheat on me

It is always faithful, always true

It does not turn on its friends

 

And all it asks in return

Is that you come back

Cup after cup after cup

 

A good cup of coffee

Is a little bit of heaven

In a cup of dark liquid hell

 

Coffee is like a drug

But a good drug that does what is should

And never complains

 

It does not get grouchy

It does not hurt you

 

It does not make you crazy

But allows the muse to come out

And play with it

 

Coffee led to the American Revolution

As patriots drank coffee

To rebel against the aristocratic English tea

 

Coffee started the London Stock market

And started the gossips mills running

 

Every great invention

Was fed by coffee's sweet brew

sweet allure

 

All the great thinkers

All the great leaders

All were enslaved to coffee's magic

 

Yeah

I sing my praises

Of the great glorious coffee lady

 

Long may she continue

To be my sweat companion

 

Long may coffee continue

To rule my heart

And set my heart on fire

 

I love thee

Mistress coffee

And sometimes I think

You love me too

 

No More Coffee Blues

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I love coffee

Always have

 

And coffee has loved me back

But lately I have soured on her

Soured on the whole coffee scene

 

On the harshness

of the morning brew

And the promises it makes

 

As I sip of its nectar

Drawn into its lair

 

Drinking drop by drop

As the caffeine takes over

 

Rewriting my every nerve

Turning me into a slave

For its perverted pleasure

 

Yes I love coffee

But I am afraid

 

Coffee is a harsh mistress

Demanding so much of me

 

Promising the sun

And delivering the moon

 

As I drink her swill

Deepening under her influence

 

I have the coffee blues

Can’t live without her

Can’t live with her

 

I try

But tea does not cut it

Not really

 

Booze does not do it

At least not in the morning

 

Yoga is not enough of a buzz

Nor is the runner’s high

 

And I am afraid deadly afraid of cocaine

And speed and drugs and energy drinks

 

And so I remain a slave to coffee

My only legal drug

 

As I sip another

and fall under

her seductive spread

 

Once more failing my resolve

To skip coffee for that day

That morning that moment

 

I shall never be free of her spell

Ever and she knows it

As she beckons me

Every morning with her intoxicating smell

 

And I come to her

and drink her brew

 

And become her slave

again and again

 

Coffee Ya Du

 

 

 

 

 

must drink coffee

have every day

the morning dawns

drinking my coffee as I yawn

 

Morning cup of coffee 

 

 

 

every morning

I drink my coffee

as I contemplate 

the dawning day

 

watching the news anchors

blather on and on

drinking my coffee

thinking of life

 

and my coffee

consumes me

overwhelms me

and at time controls me

 

after all coffee is a drug

and I am her slave

from time to time

 

Drinking Coffee in the Morning

 

 

 

in the morning

dangerous mood

felling deranged

watching the news

 

trigger warning

you are screwed dude

end of the world

the end times come

 

I drink coffee

in the morning

 

 

 

Coffee Pot Killed

 

 

 

 

 

His wife has banned my use

by my owner

says he makes too much

of a mess when he uses me

 

it is not his fault

I want to say

but being a coffee pot

can not speak

 

and so I am abandoned

thrown out into the trash

 

and feel very sad

for my owner

 

who was my friend

he liked me

 

he keep me going

and I did my job

 

providing him

with fresh coffee

 

doing my coffee pot duty

and now it is over

 

Drinking My Coffee

 

 

drinking coffee

 

drinking my coffee

early in the cool morning

thinking life is fine

 

everything will be okay

after I drink my coffee

 

morning coffee

 

 

 

morning coffee

 

dawning sun 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

coffee MGur Poem

 

 

coffee

 

I pray to the coffee gods

every cup of coffee

is like a sacrament to me

 

I pray as I drink my coffee

that it will fill me

with wisdom

 

and find peace

with my coffee

 

as I drink

my devotion

 

Hot coffee

 

 

cup of coffee

 

 

take coffee with you

Hot hot coffee, makes my day -

 

Must drink My daily coffee, as the morning dawns - 

 

With out my morning coffee

 

in me,  I feel nothing at all -

 

Electrified Hot Coffee

 

 

 

coffee is the drug of choice

nothing else will do it

as I drink coffee

Electrified

Hot Coffee

 

Hot Coffee and Cake

 

 

coffee

coffee is the drug of choice

electrified circuits

as I drink coffee

coffee and cake

 

 

Coffee Patina

 

coffee

hot coffee

hot Hellish Heaven

Essence of coffee

the rest of the coffee poems can be found on my web page Https://theworldaccordingtocosmos.com

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tonyv

For me it's iced coffee, every day of the year, no matter now cold it is out. I know ... coffee is a diuretic, but I need the caffeine, and I want to chug it to quench my morning thirst.

Tony 🍩


Here is a link to an index of my works on this site: tonyv's Member Archive topic

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