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dcmarti1

The Forgotten Incarnation

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dcmarti1

A new Amana washer chugs along
with the Kenmore dryer spinning behind

A Walmart creche and a Big Lots angel
twinkle in fixed configurations

A son heats Kroger organic veggies
in a Panasonic microwave

A cousin pours Carrot Ginger Cashew
soup from a Pacific Foods carton

A pre-cooked Jennie-O Turkey Ham
glazes in an ancient Whirlpool oven

A bottle of Arbor Mist Blackberry Merlot
waits to be poured into Dollar Tree goblets

A Betty Crocker Gingerbread cake has cooled
enough for the Betty Crocker cream cheese icing

A mother sits on a Broyhill couch
and  but has forgotten it's Christmas

Is a silent night still a holy night
If its name is neither spoken  said nor sung?

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dr_con

I absolutely LOVE this. The problem, you see, is that Holy Night does not have a strong enough Brand! 😉

This is a bit of very modern, very now - Genius. TY


Gate(less.thumb.png.dc23b19d2478d37a9f6fcdc563973026.pnghttps://conjurd.substack.com/welcome Come on over and check out my poetry substack y'all;-)

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badger11

Nicely collated Marti. I have no knowledge of most of the labels. but that added interest.

best

Phil

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dcmarti1
13 hours ago, dr_con said:

I absolutely LOVE this. The problem, you see, is that Holy Night does not have a strong enough Brand! 😉

This is a bit of very modern, very now - Genius. TY

Thank you for reading and I am glad you liked it. It came in dribs and drabs during the day.

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dcmarti1
15 hours ago, badger11 said:

Nicely collated Marti. I have no knowledge of most of the labels. but that added interest.

best

Phil

Thanks, Phil. Just American consumer labels. This is about as "stream of consciousness" looking as I can get but I still had to have some symmetry and repetition. 🙂

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tonyv

Marti, the scene is very Middle America. The speaker is home, though he is far from home. Very nicely done.

Tony


Here is a link to an index of my works on this site: tonyv's Member Archive topic

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A. Baez

Wow, what an interesting premise--this litany of brand names, all leading up to the last three lines, which turn everything around! I was just beginning to get sick of all the holiday superficiality when I realized to my great delight that so were you, and that was the whole point. The last three lines are just beautiful, and so poignant. You echo the drift of my heart!

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dcmarti1
On 1/1/2020 at 12:56 PM, tonyv said:

Marti, the scene is very Middle America. The speaker is home, though he is far from home. Very nicely done.

Tony

I see you picked up on that, my Estonian amigo. 😉

Thanks, as always.

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dcmarti1
On 1/1/2020 at 9:01 PM, A. Baez said:

Wow, what an interesting premise--this litany of brand names, all leading up to the last three lines, which turn everything around! I was just beginning to get sick of all the holiday superficiality when I realized to my great delight that so were you, and that was the whole point. The last three lines are just beautiful, and so poignant. You echo the drift of my heart!

I am so glad you liked it AND critiqued it: you recognized litany.

Ya know, Miss Alexandria VA, I lived in DC from 1992 to 2013, until I had to return to TX. 

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A. Baez

One could argue that in a way, there's an implicit inconsistency here (which I find intriguing): the brand-name items have taken on a "holy" role for the characters even though they haven't voiced these things' names, but the holy night, given the same treatment, has not taken on a similarly "holy" role. Still, the contradiction is superficial, for while your characters neither "say" nor "sing" the brand names of the things they're using, we know that on a figurative level, people's consciousness does tend to "say" and "sing" these names and what they represent when we interact with them and their associated objects on an ongoing basis. Similarly, we might argue that the holy night can be observed without overtly saying or singing its name; the real problem in this scene is that the people, caught up with daily chores and external celebrations, have given no internal acknowledgement.

And yes, dcmarti1, reading one of your earlier posted poems that was set in a local historical home, I did notice that you had lived in this area before (as your profile name still attests)! I'm sorry you "had to" return to Texas. (I have three friends living there, and all of them are doing so reluctantly! I should visit there sometime just to see what all the moaning is about. Lol.)

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tonyv
3 hours ago, A. Baez said:

I should visit there sometime just to see what all the moaning is about.

Well, you could probably find some upscale clubs where to party 🍸 and even get a rubdown in Dallas or Houston but I think where Marti might be based is someplace where even you would be moaning ... and I don't mean in a good way!!! I think we might have to take the party to him! ✈️


Here is a link to an index of my works on this site: tonyv's Member Archive topic

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Tinker

Marti,  The only disappointment I find with your work is, there just isn't enough of it.   The title, the liturgical frame, the secular, spiritual and emotional components all compliment each other, to move your reader.  You are a gifted writer.   I loved this piece.

~~Tink 

I hope you don't mind my linking this poem with Liturgical Verse


~~ © ~~ Poems by Judi Van Gorder ~~

For permission to use this work you can write to Tinker1111@icloud.com

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A. Baez

Tinker, that's so interesting that this has a liturgical frame, as you say. I checked out your link on this subject but am still not sure how you identified Marti's poem as falling into this category, since the information says that liturgical (Latin) verse is more a genre than a structured form. But I do love the practice of turning old forms to sly, ironic, and subversive uses!

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Tinker

  AB,  Litany is a genre, rather than dictating meter, rhyme, stanzaic composition.  But it does have a pattern of repetition, chant like sounds, response whether external or internal, each line a a symbolic,  "Amen" if you will.   This is just my observation and deductive reasoning which certainly could be challenged.   I am open to being shown where wrong or reinforced in where I may be right.   Actually, I believe Marti has some expertise in this venue.  

~~Tink


~~ © ~~ Poems by Judi Van Gorder ~~

For permission to use this work you can write to Tinker1111@icloud.com

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A. Baez

I see! Very interesting! Funny, I did use the word "litany" to describe the contents of this poem, but I meant it in the more common-usage sense. I guess Marti's "expertise in this venue" explains why he replied to me (not entirely accurately, it seems), "You recognized litany." Tinker, the litany/liturgical elements you identify certainly sound like they could be fun to experiment with in a poem.

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dcmarti1
13 hours ago, Tinker said:

Marti,  The only disappointment I find with your work is, there just isn't enough of it.   The title, the liturgical frame, the secular, spiritual and emotional components all compliment each other, to move your reader.  You are a gifted writer.   I loved this piece.

~~Tink 

I hope you don't mind my linking this poem with Liturgical Verse

You're always too kind. Oh, link away, amiga mia! 😉

I am honored.

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