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tonyv

Wayland Square --for Douglas

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tonyv

Who would buy a dress at Gabrielle
or dine at the Red Stripe? I tried that twice;
each time, the mussels were a bit too dry --
gritty, with too much salt -- and the beer skunked.
The few tables and chairs strewn on the bricks
of my cafe bear out what I cannot:
school break, and all the regulars are gone.
I sip espresso. Somehow, I aspired
to be a marigold among the pearls
in damson skies over the spires in Riga,
but rails do not submerge. I knew a lot,
which I forgot; and the dog ate my homework;
and Providence is very far away.

________________________________

Note:
This poem was partly inspired by
THIS image


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douglas

me? this douglas? confused.png well, if it is - thank you so much, tony! i love the atmosphere of the poem, the subtle romance, the reticence and the strong images that speak volumes.

 

"Somehow, I aspired

to be a marigold among the pearls

in damson skies over the spires in Riga,

but rails do not submerge."

 

i found the above words particularly evocative...

 

...and i loved the mention of the dog who ate your homework! icon_razz.gif

 

the ending is classy - and the image astounding!

 

thank you very much tony! icon_albino.png


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tonyv
douglas wrote:

 

me? this douglas?

Sure! After all, you're our Douglas! icon_biggrin.png The poem had been materializing for awhile, and I thought of your recent poems The Storm and the Dog and Where I'm From, your mention of several (life-changing?) moves, and thought, "Why not"? icon_idea.png

 

But really, if you don't like the poem or its dedication, I can remove the dedication ... I certainly understand. In any case, thank you, as always, for your kind reply.

 

Tony icon_rolleyes.gif


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douglas

tony! icon_eek.gif i love the poem - and its dedication (do leave it as is) - your thoughtfulness means a lot to me. icon_wink.gif


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tonyv

Your first reply was clear, Douglas -- I just wanted to be sure that it really was okay. I'm thrilled that you like it!

 

Tony icon_biggrin.png


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Aleksandra

Tony, again something new from you. This poem makes me thing of your style.

In the beginning I like how you described the place:

 

Who would buy a dress at Gabrielle

or dine at the Red Stripe? I tried that twice;

each time, the mussels were a bit too dry --

gritty, with too much salt -- and the beer, skunked.

 

As I told you, it has some observation elements, but I am glad that the poem is not totally observational, but have some much poetical lines too:

 

.........Somehow, I aspired

to be a marigold among the pearls

in damson skies over the spires in Riga,

but rails do not submerge.

 

Also, I like the way of expressing the loneliness, that very moment when the inspiration comes:

 

The few tables and chairs strewn on the bricks

of my cafe bear out what I cannot:

school break, and all the regulars are gone.

 

The the poem have ironical end, which I loved, bc the irony in the poem is making the poem powerful - it is my opinion, of course.

 

...I knew a lot,

which I forgot; and the dog ate my homework;

and Providence is very far away.

 

So, your poem is very good connected and written. The mixture of styles, makes your poem beautiful.

I really enjoy the ending part Tony.

 

Aleksandra

 

 

PS: Doug you should be happy to get a poem from our Tony Rolling Eyes Very Happy

( not jealous - just I am saying :D )


The poet is a liar who always speaks the truth - Jean Cocteau

History of Macedonia

 

 

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Aleksandra

Tony, bw, the title is wonderful, it is the right one, and I like the story for it.

 

Aleksandra


The poet is a liar who always speaks the truth - Jean Cocteau

History of Macedonia

 

 

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dr_con

Tony,

 

a wondrous work, filled with exacting detail, yet cuts through the objects to arrive at the heart.Very, very impressed!

 

BTW, I believe it is bare not rowr bear;-) Interesting, I just looked it up and here is the etymology:

 

Etymology:Middle English, from Old English bær; akin to Old High German bar naked, Lithuanian basas barefoot

Date: before 12th century

 

Which makes it the perfect choice for Riga, I wonder what the Latvian equivalent is? icon_biggrin.png

 

DC


Join the Voodoo rEvolution. Classes forming now: http://www.integralvoodoo.org/

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badger11

A rich mix of diction Tony. Agree with Doug on the dog!

 

badge icon_biggrin.png

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tonyv

I appreciate how you detected and pointed out the presence of both observational (narrative) type elements and "poetic" (lyrical) ones in this poem, Aleksandra. I also like how you caught "the way of expressing the loneliness" and how (and precisely when) it served as a source of inspiration for the poem. Thank you for your close read and perceptive remarks.

 

Tony

 

PS -- I'm glad you like the title. icon_smile.gif Wayland Square is a small part of Providence's East Side neighborhood -- my regular place for relaxing. icon_cool.gif


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tonyv

I'm pleased by your remark about the balance between the details and the message, Dr. Con. I tried hard use concrete imagery and to make every word and line count without having that imagery overpower the poem's drift.

 

I do have to respectfully disagree about the spelling when it comes to bear vs. bare, though. I was looking for a verb which means evince -- something along the lines of manifest, display, or reveal. There were many in the thesaurus, and, under the "evidence" category for that word I found, among others like confirm and validate, the expression bear out. I liked it, because it seemed to work with what I meant. Also, though probably not technically exact, I like how a double meaning could be "poetically" inferred from it -- bear, kind of like "bearing a burden" or "what a man can bear."

 

I wonder what the Latvian equivalent is?

For this, I would have to defer to one of our members who is of Latvian descent. icon_biggrin.png

 

Thank you, as always, for your kind comments and helpfulness.

 

Tony


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tonyv

Thank you for your kind comment about the diction, Badge. I'm glad you liked the classic excuse of blaming it on the dog!

 

Tony icon_biggrin.png


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Aleksandra
tonyv wrote:

 

I appreciate how you detected and pointed out the presence of both observational (narrative) type elements and "poetic" (lyrical) ones in this poem, Aleksandra. I also like how you caught "the way of expressing the loneliness" and how (and precisely when) it served as a source of inspiration for the poem. Thank you for your close read and perceptive remarks.

 

Tony

 

PS -- I'm glad you like the title. icon_smile.gif Wayland Square is a small part of Providence's East Side neighborhood -- my regular place for relaxing. icon_cool.gif

 

I am glad that you have regular place for relaxing Tony :). That sounds nice, I had too, but I have it less and less places like you have icon_neutral.gif

 

Thanks for liking my reading of your poem. I enjoyed your poem so much.

 

Alek


The poet is a liar who always speaks the truth - Jean Cocteau

History of Macedonia

 

 

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Lake

Very nice. Some names of places have already added an exotic feel. Good choice of words, such as "damson skies" and I like how you explained the meaning of "bear out". I feel the tone is relaxed yet with a tint of nostalgia.

 

Enjoyed.

 

Lake

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summayya

It's a hit tony. Congrats icon_biggrin.png :icon_razz:

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JoelJosol

Tony, why do I feel like I am reading a Wordsworth poem? :-) The poem's illustration of the ambience and emotion to the reader made me recall W.

 

I found this section very graphic

 

"The few tables and chairs strewn on the bricks

of my cafe bear out what I cannot:

school break, and all the regulars are gone."


"Words are not things, and yet they are not non-things either." - Ann Lauterbach

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tonyv

I'll take that as a downright compliment ... Thank you, Joel!

 

Tony icon_biggrin.png


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Larsen M. Callirhoe

tony wow...i am in love with your poem here. i want to quote a few linews and talk about how they influence my rapid thought process on imagery in poetry. i use the sky/moon sea/waves/ sunrise/ new beginning sunset/ end of the line etc... i see no exception to this wonderful oem amigo. i know dougls had to agree and enyot this master piece.

 

 

 

victor


Larsen M. Callirhoe

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tonyv

Ah, an oldie from our transferred PMO board, Victor.:D You can tell whenever it is, because the title will be followed by the date. (That's how Alek noted the original "posted" date(s) of those poems when she transferred them.)

 

Thanks for your kind reply. I'm glad you liked it.

 

Tony


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