eclipse Posted February 5, 2020 Share Posted February 5, 2020 Borders of dreams patrolled by guards without faces. Last night I dreamt about a figure with gaunt fingers covering their face with a mirror which had a hole in the glass, in the eye I could see a burning building and a needle in the soil with gold sovereigns piled to the eye. Shadows of those leaving the camp passed in the mirror briefly. Gold tears made out of fillings fell from heaven's keyhole onto the cheeks of the dead, the needle sank further into the soil. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tinker Posted February 8, 2020 Share Posted February 8, 2020 Barry I'm still working on the Spanish translation of your sonnet, slow going and unproductive but I haven't given up. Be patient with me. Now to this one, Love your opening. On 2/5/2020 at 2:17 AM, eclipse said: Borders of dreams patrolled by guards without faces. A dreamscape is the ideal place for your amazing imagery. On 2/5/2020 at 2:17 AM, eclipse said: a needle in the soil with gold sovereigns piled to the eye. I think your choice of line breaks sometimes weaken the images. But that is just my literal side which seems to be raising its head lately. Another brilliant (literally). ~~Tink Quote ~~ © ~~ Poems by Judi Van Gorder ~~ For permission to use this work you can write to Tinker1111@icloud.com Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tonyv Posted February 9, 2020 Share Posted February 9, 2020 I'm not sure what the needle represents, but the poem itself seems to portray a concentration camp survivor's ptsd with horrors experienced by the victim lasting a lifetime. "Camp" has a similar feel to one of my favorite poems: Charles Simic's "Empire of Dreams." I like it. Tony Quote Here is a link to an index of my works on this site: tonyv's Member Archive topic Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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