goldenlangur Posted May 23, 2009 Share Posted May 23, 2009 we hold hands and smile old photograph I wipe the frame hold our moment for a while goldenlangur Quote goldenlangur Even a single enemy is too many and a thousand friends too few - Bhutanese saying. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dr_con Posted May 23, 2009 Share Posted May 23, 2009 Brilliant! Short, simple, and yet incredible nostalgic depth. A pure emotive nibble! Well done GL Quote thegateless.org Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tonyv Posted May 23, 2009 Share Posted May 23, 2009 I like how the poem's first three lines conjure certain expectations for the reader. Then, the concluding lines give rise to an entirely different actuality. He begins to contemplate a myriad of possibilities ... Wonderful to see you again, GL. Tony Quote Here is a link to an index of my works on this site: tonyv's Member Archive topic Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rhymeguy Posted May 23, 2009 Share Posted May 23, 2009 those before me have said it well. I shall only add- "me too." rg Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tinker Posted May 23, 2009 Share Posted May 23, 2009 gl, One of the reasons you were missed, gems like this. I'll hold the moment for a while. ~~Tink Quote ~~ © ~~ Poems by Judi Van Gorder ~~ For permission to use this work you can write to Tinker1111@icloud.com Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
waxwings Posted May 23, 2009 Share Posted May 23, 2009 ...to say anything more would be a detraction. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frank E Gibbard Posted May 23, 2009 Share Posted May 23, 2009 Minalism and a taste of the East I feel, a winning combination. Welcome return Golden one. Frank Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lake Posted May 23, 2009 Share Posted May 23, 2009 How nice to see Golden back with such a touching tanka! I like the turn in the second part and the placement of one word "we" in L1. No more words as waxwings commented. Best wishes! Lake Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
badger11 Posted May 23, 2009 Share Posted May 23, 2009 wehold hands and smile old photograph I wipe the frame hold our moment for a while goldenlangur Clever the way the poem is centred around the 'old photograph'. Form melded with content. I agree with the effective focus on the 'we', reinforces the separation and isolation of 'I'. Even in its brevity the poem has a journey. The choice of 'wipe' rather than dust? Keeping clean and clear so the memory does not diminish? And yet the reference is to the frame and not the glass? Or is this an act of wiping the frame, while being distracted by the photo? The familiar notion of the photograph capturing a moment is refreshed as you cherish that moment. The word 'while' has no time cut-off, which is how living in a moment should be! Thoughtful and crafted write gl. You do not distance the reader, but allow them to share the gentle emotions of this poem. badge :0) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aleksandra Posted May 23, 2009 Share Posted May 23, 2009 Yes you have been missed with a reason, as someone said before me. I love this tanka of yours GL. As always, very tide and compact, with amazing ending line, what gives a life to another tanka which may come after this one in the same spirit and sense. I adore this one. Welcome back my friend. It's a pleasure to see you back. Aleksandra Quote The poet is a liar who always speaks the truth - Jean Cocteau History of Macedonia Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
goldenlangur Posted May 23, 2009 Author Share Posted May 23, 2009 Hello Dc, Tony, rg, Tink, waxwings, Frank, Lake, badge and Alexsandra, Thank you so much for reading this tanka and your considered comments. I appreciate this very much. goldenlangur Quote goldenlangur Even a single enemy is too many and a thousand friends too few - Bhutanese saying. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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