We both know
Entry posted by SKY 268 in journal
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We both know
That we are
Not made for
Each other
It is very sad
That has to end
This way
We had hurt
Each other badly
Fighting all the time
I will not worry
About you anymore
Because
You will find
Somebody that will
love you
Better than I did
You
We don't have
Any more feelings for each other
Also, we don't love
Each other anymore
Now you are free
To choose somebody new
That you will love
Better than you did me
Please don't worry
About me anymore
Because I believe
That out there
I will find
The woman of my dreams
Also, I am a religious men
You don't believe in God
That is ok
I believe in God
Because it was God
That made me
Many years ago
And also God is my father
Also, I am his son
Yes I hope you have
Good friends out there
Who you can trust
Also, I am God's poet
You are a singer
You had composed beautiful songs
In your guitar
Every single day
And also you sing very well
I know that you are gifted
Also, I am a disabled men
That god made
Many years ago
Yes I have plenty of clothes to wear
That my God gave me to wear
A few months ago
And I also wear the clothes that he gave me
Every single day
Now it is nighttime
Also, I can't stop to think
About you
I also know that
I have hurt you
So badly
And I believe that I was a fool
I am going to sleep now
Because it is my bedtime
Yes I started to look
For somebody knew to love
Slowly we are getting to know
Each other
I must tell you
That I will work hard
For this new relationship
To last
We are both
Middle-class people
Also, we are both very religious
I feel that I have been blessed
To have somebody
Knew in my life
That will love me forever
Yes I never think about
In the past because I was a loser
I also have a bad temper
You know that
Now I am living in the future
And I am so happy to live
In the future
I am somebody known now
And I have changed my behaviors
Over and over again
Also, I have lots of problems to solve
And I am going to solve it on my own
Yes it is hard to do it
But I am doing it
Yes life is very precious
And I don't gamble with my life
Because I just don't have the right
To do it
Only God has the right to
End my life
Yes I am ready to die
Any day now
I have lived
All that I want to live
On earth
Also, I don't have good health anymore
I have very bad depression
I have been living with depression for 15 years now
I kept myself out of the hospital for 4 years
I haven't had a crisis for 4 years now
It was my psychiatrist that had diagnosed me
With depression many years ago
And he prescribes my medications for depression
I take my medication every day
Night and day
Please God can you make a miracle in my life?
Because I am waiting for you to do that
Is that too much to ask for my God
Please answer me now
I am waiting for you to answer me, God
Yes when I was young I had good health
Yes God I have some broken sleep
Because I have sleep apnea
And I refuse to wear a CPAP machine
Every single night
Thank God that I been alive
Every single day
And I am happy to be alive
Also, I am happy that I have
I roof over my head
And I don't live on the street
Also, I have very little money to live
And also my friends look after my money
Because I just don't know how to
Handle money
If you put money on my hand
I spend it like it is water
The next day I am broke
I am telling the truth, God
I am also afraid to end up
On the street
Like the homeless
Also, I have good friends that support
Every single day of my life
And I have known them for a lifetime
Also, I need people in my life
And I also know that I can't live without people
I never sleep in during the mornings
Because I know that I would be wasting
A nice day
Also, I have a routine that I follow
Every single morning
The first thing I do when I wake up
Is pray for my God
And ask him in my prayer to give me
Peace and health in my life
Because I have no peace and health
In my life
I am telling you the truth, God
Today was the first day of Fall
And I had to put my
Summer clothes away
And start to wear my Winter clothes
We already changed the clocks back one hour
Also, the days are short now
It gets dark by 5:00 pm
I must say that I just hate that
I also find it very depressing
Also, I don't get any sun during the fall
Only grey sky
That puts me to sleep
And also it makes me tired
I keep yawning non-stop
I wish that I could go back to bed
But if I do that I won't sleep
At night
So I must stay wake
Now finally the trees are changing their color
From green to Gold
Also, there are dead leaves on the ground
People are raking the leaves of the trees
That is on the ground
And putting inside the garden bags
Yes the trees are now bare
And ready for the winter
Also now is morning again
It arrived very early
I have dressed warmly
And I am going for walk around
The block
So I can get some fresh air
Into my lungs
Then when I come back
I will go to my living room
I will turn my computer on
And I will do some work for my God
I will write some poems
For my God
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