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Thank you David. Very much appreciate the nuances of your reading. all the best Phil

Spare yet vivid. Echoes of W. C. Williams here, with a healthy dose of Gary Snyder type serenity, but with a family comfort not often found in either. Nice, - David

Thanks for reading these blog/pub. poems Tony. There are some diverse US mags out there!

Thanks Tony. Wright! Thank you very much😀

Thank you David (belatedly), for your kind reply. I like how you've speculated that there could be more to this poem -- I love when the thoughtful reader entertains possibilities of more -- but this one is only what's there. The birds, like the "you," are unfazed by the potential available at those wires, high up on the pole. The electricity represents the higher math and "you." The birds are not the higher math, because they obviously do not understand any of it, but they are like the higher math, and by design, they are not hurt by the high voltage; they just safely, and seemingly with ease,

Phil, another intriguing poem. It's intense, even a bit unsettling. I loved it. Tony

Excellent work, elegantly presented. The poem itself left my flesh cringing, crawling. Tony

Very nicely presented, Phil. This poem is new to me. I don't recall having ever seen it anywhere else. Tony

I find David's remarks intriguing. I don't feel qualified to chime in on the content, but I will say that the poem seems remarkably concentrated, intense. I'm looking forward to David's additional thoughts. Tony

Thankfully, for now, our members here are still able to offer their own opinions. Could there be a day when replies to poems will be generated by questionably-well-meaning artificial intelligence's application of injudicious algorithms? I hope not! Tony 🤯

Barry, I like how you present the events within a purview of a "big picture." A welcome hopefulness abounds. Tony

Wright-like and to my liking -- there are two things that make this poem personal and thus "real": the mention of "my son" and the local reference. I was going to say that the presentation could be enhanced by the inclusion of what I call "album art" -- a picture -- but when I went to Wikipedia to read about Cardigan Bay and to look for a picture, I concluded that then the experience would, in effect, be just the opposite: the poem would enhance any picture one could find online, save a photograph from another decade, from that day; that's the only picture which could enhance the experience of

Nice one, Joel. I'm glad you answered each question in the affirmative (and truthfully)! Tony 😀

Tinker's Poetic Forms: Variant-rhymed Quatrain (gurunAthan ramaNi) 01. People swallow! (iambic tetrameter: aaxa) Whate'er you say, I don't follow Whate'er you write, is all hollow You are a popular poet because You're rich that makes people swallow! 02. We want rain! (iambic trimeter: xaaa) It needs to rain today The wind is warm and dusty The fallen leaves are rusty And the earth is hard and crusty! 03. The monkey! (iambic trimeter: axaa) To see or not to see To do or not to do The monkey on the tree It made a choice--to flee! 04. The rose

Hi Joel, I love your experience of the poem as a painting in the act of being created, with details filling in as the reader "watches." In accepting the poem, the editors of Tiny Seed Literary Journal commented that the "... poem is rich and complex in meaning and imagery." Your observation pleasingly enlivens that characterization. I also appreciate your comment about the opening as being "inviting." One of the most difficult things in writing a poem is leading off with something that compels the reader to come in and experience. Delighted it worked so well for you. Thank You,

Tony, as always your insights key precisely into the poem's essence, the emotional journey and its context. At PMO I can always be sure to find not only an audience that is literate and acute, but emotional accompaniment. I like the way you can feel the undertow of the everyday strengthening as the poem progresses, yet with the family intimacy and wonder of the experience intact. But the acuity is there, too, resonating with the enjambment. Very validating. Oh, and thanks too for the comment on the poem's appearance. A lot of my older poems suffered a few years ago with unintended si

Thanks, Phil for your suggestions about sonics. Since it needs to be a head-rhyme, and the continuing action sets the mood, I used the -ing. Perhaps I should try another verse, with better sonics. Thank you, again. gurunAthan

My son buries my feet in sand with his red spade. The sun's unfolding a gold-leaf across Cardigan bay. I dream of sleep. He digs.

hi There are exotic elements in your poem that attracted my interest...sari, temple...and also, as Tony says, the mood (the domestic picture). The form has provided a frame for the write, though the inversion quoted above and all those -ing sounds detract from the poem's pleasures (after all sonics are a primary attraction for reading poetry). hope that helps some Phil ps I notice England's first Test is in Chennai. I expect an easy win for India after their terrific performance against Australia.

Chitrakavi: Picture-Verse Chitrakavi or Chitra-bandha or chitra-kavya is a form of verse that originated in Sanskrit and popularized in Tamil prosody. In this form, a verse is bound (bhanda) inside a picture (chitra). The verse need not be about the picture. It can be on any subject that the poet desires, but its letters should fit within the various crisscrossing dhruva (pre-determined fixed points) inside a chitra (picture). If you search in Google images, with the term 'chitrakavya sanskrit', an amazing number of simple and complicated picture-verses would crop up! Even a pun

Yes, it is about an imagined only child, Joel Josol. As Tinker would explain the ABBA poetic form uses internal rhymes, in reverse order: Phone and paddad alone! Really educative, her explanations, to try the forms as exercises or full blown poems. And no, this poem is not about the narrator, but about an imagined first person. gurunAthan

Thanks gurunAthan for the read. I am glad that you enjoyed it.

Thanks A. Baez. Yes, it is a poem about missing someone who was absent for a time.

Thanks Tony. I am glad that the gambling trope added interest in the figuring out of the unknown.

I am not familiar with NA mythology but the poem gives me a surreal feeling the equivalent of abstract from the visual arts. The power of the poem, to me, is in the mystery it evokes.