Larsen M. Callirhoe Posted June 5, 2009 Share Posted June 5, 2009 When Stars Collide Two men fighting over her love. One would lose and one would win. A duel that only fools would dare to engage in over petty lust. A fire rages in my heart for I am dueling for love. Spark the desire in me my love before you are stolen from my heart by enmity of other men, You see I want your hand in marriage. Don’t you see we have belonged together even before the stars in our universe were birthed in the ever expanding sky. Do I have to fight darkness itself to have your hand close to my heart. Can’t you feel it beating like a drum being played by a drummer in perfect harmony. The melody guides me to want only you My lovely Nalene. How do I explain you to Elizabeth. Could you handle being my mistress. The drum beats ever louder, like my heart being chased by enmity of other men’s thoughts and deeds. I think I will roll the dice and take a chance on two lovers who both love me for who I am. Who am I, I am the star that collides with other nighttime stars to fulfill destiny for my lovers. Nalene, Elizabeth, I love you both. And both of you will make me collide with other stars for your love in marriage. Quote Larsen M. Callirhoe Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frank E Gibbard Posted June 5, 2009 Share Posted June 5, 2009 I think definitely your best work in terms of conception construction and completion Larse. Very well done, looks the business this one. Your customary passion tempered by a cool and attractive restraint. Frank Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aleksandra Posted June 14, 2009 Share Posted June 14, 2009 Ah my dear Vic. Nice to meet Nalene . This poem is wonderful expressed with nice verse construction. I think that Elizabeth would be the better choice anyway . Quote The poet is a liar who always speaks the truth - Jean Cocteau History of Macedonia Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Larsen M. Callirhoe Posted June 14, 2009 Author Share Posted June 14, 2009 ah aleksandra nalene i shared my first dance with a female, she was so feminine. long goldren brown hair. i will never forget the dress she wore it went down to her ankles, she was nervous as we exchanged phone numbers. i had a dream with her in it. she smoiled at me and my eyes would not stop stairing at her face. victor Quote Larsen M. Callirhoe Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tonyv Posted June 16, 2009 Share Posted June 16, 2009 I like the poem's logical progression. This part made me smile: The melody guides me to want only you My lovely Nalene. How do I explain you to Elizabeth. Could you handle being my mistress. Perhaps she could. And this part has a forceful effect: A fire rages in my heart for I am dueling for love. It seems to sum up the poem ... and the speaker's state of mind. Tony Quote Here is a link to an index of my works on this site: tonyv's Member Archive topic Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pawn shop Posted July 7, 2009 Share Posted July 7, 2009 Awesome stuff ! Another Shakespherian type poem !! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Larsen M. Callirhoe Posted July 20, 2009 Author Share Posted July 20, 2009 I think definitely your best work in terms of conception construction and completion Larse. Very well done, looks the business this one. Your customary passion tempered by a cool and attractive restraint. Frank thanks frank i have been studying hard and reading allot of stuff on a wide range of poetry and grammer use. i believe and think the writing of my poems has improved vastly from 3 years ago. we have known each other 3 years this month. i met you on the defumct art plop thanks to nia's introduction. i must say you have handle this aquatance with class while i admit i haven't. then again i walk to a beat of a drum that seems more fabrication than reality. thanks for the high remarks. coming from a british educated commentor on one of my writings such praise means more than you will ever know. since my accident in aug 12, 1996 i have been trying to prove doctors wrong about me being nothing but a vegetable. i have a descent IQ. i scored 129 and 140 is a genius. i think that is pretty good since i suffered complete memory loss after my accident. my pyschologist scored a 170 on the IQ test but he has had over 8 years of college including six years of medical school. if i had that much schooling i know i would score higher on the test. i scored my aptitude was that of a linguist and creative writer scoring in the likes of charles dickens a writer i admire. i study everyday since i don't do anything but read. i watch documentaries on public television, and i watch stufff on the history channel and discovery channel. thanks frank victor mike aka larse Quote Larsen M. Callirhoe Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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