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Fathers


dr_con

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Fathers

 

"Children are taught

to mistrust strangers

forgetting they were raised

by two of them"- Christopher Hyatt

 

Grandpa would have lived longer

if he had not smoked

he says as we walk

through redwoods

while I puff away

practicing with alcohol

preparing for tobacco

 

But you never seemed

to like Grandpa- his Methodist

morality- his hidden pornography

the soap for washing my mouth

the belt for you playing with cards

arguments around a woman made

Thanksgiving feast and he was your age

 

when he died a robust 75

so I think-not wanting to shatter illusions

after five years of not seeing you

infrequent phone calls

a one-way street

 

I see men defined by that aggression

love expressed in disagreement

but I'm a father now in an Age

of drifters- skimming the surface

of emptiness- denied even the chance

to do-it-better than you

unwilling to take a stand on false

morals-cruel best intentions

 

you believe in fairy tales

of who I am-when I lost my virginity

how I love my daughter

the talent wasted

the potential lost

 

I worry what stories people tell about me

not if I am good or bad but how alive I was

when it happened and considering where

you came from despite my wishes to explain

it clearly you did a good job of teaching

me how to be a dad

Gate(less.thumb.png.dc23b19d2478d37a9f6fcdc563973026.pnghttps://conjurd.substack.com/welcome Come on over and check out my poetry substack y'all;-)

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A real journey thru the life DC.

Your poem speaks loud how the life should go on. I loved the quote at the top, I never read that before.

I think everybody who comes after us, should be better than us and to learn from the mistakes of the " fathers " - that is the best way to be able to be a good " father "

 

I loved the poem. One of my favorites from yours.

 

Aleksandra

The poet is a liar who always speaks the truth - Jean Cocteau

History of Macedonia

 

 

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An uneasy look at some risks that I, myself, have been unwilling to take. Though I'm not into children, I'm glad my parents were! I know they had fun, but I remember coming to realize that my parents had faced all the same problems I had to face, only augmented by the worries of parenting. I can relate to this poem in the same way that I relate to Weldon Kees' "For My Daughter." Very well done.

 

Tony

Here is a link to an index of my works on this site: tonyv's Member Archive topic

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DC, it's like holding a picture of three generations of men. And this poem come out like 'thinking out loud' of people's complex and conflicting philosophies. But, the under current is the sense of wasted opportunities of the N, inherited from previous generations. Like father, like son.

 

In terms of structure, you wrote your poem in such a way, it is warping around through use of enjambments - a visual going in circle :-)

"Words are not things, and yet they are not non-things either." - Ann Lauterbach

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Aleksandra, Tony, and JJ- I am touched by your responses. Tony that poem is awesome!

 

Many, Many Thanks!

 

(I'm in mid-edits of the galleys of my first published book of poetry- hence my absence;-)

 

DC

Gate(less.thumb.png.dc23b19d2478d37a9f6fcdc563973026.pnghttps://conjurd.substack.com/welcome Come on over and check out my poetry substack y'all;-)

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So much here to think about. Father and son relationships can be so complicated. Clearly our fathers teach us how to be fathers. They teach by example. We either strive to be like them or we use their example as a template for every thing we do not want to be. Either way their example guides us. Ultimately we must understand that each father did the best they could given the tools they had to work with. That does not mean we approve only that we undestand.

 

Your work here is profound in its grasp of these realities.

 

Congratulations on your book. How will it be available for purchase?

 

rg

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Congratulations on your book. How will it be available for purchase?

 

rg

 

Thanks for the review RG! The book is being published by The Invisible College Publishing House and will be available via their website and eventually through Amazon, Powell's etc. I'll post a link and encourage one and all to suggest it @ your local B&N and Borders;-)

 

Much Grace!

 

DC

Gate(less.thumb.png.dc23b19d2478d37a9f6fcdc563973026.pnghttps://conjurd.substack.com/welcome Come on over and check out my poetry substack y'all;-)

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goldenlangur

Congratulation on being published DC.

 

 

This poem is testimony to your poetic gift.

 

 

I like the intimate, reflective tone full of love and pride, while the fretful undercurrent gives a sense of how mindful the poet is of the sacred duty and gift of fatherhood.

goldenlangur

 

 

Even a single enemy is too many and a thousand friends too few - Bhutanese saying.

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I see men defined by that aggression

love expressed in disagreement

but I'm a father now in an Age

of drifters- skimming the surface

of emptiness- denied even the chance

to do-it-better than you

unwilling to take a stand on false

morals-cruel best intentions

 

Hi DC, This stanza says so much so clearly. The conflicting images, conflicting emotions tear at me. This is joyful and sad, desparate and honorable with no embellishments. You willingly display your vulnerability. Thank you for letting us in.

 

~~Tink

~~ © ~~ Poems by Judi Van Gorder ~~

For permission to use this work you can write to Tinker1111@icloud.com

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