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Poetry Magnum Opus

Garbage Truck


JoelJosol

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I missed the dump truck this morning.

Now, I am stuck, counting garbage bags

 

the neighbors hate to see torn open

by scavengers. I wonder should I

 

be sitting here checking

your pictures from Facebook

 

or be ridding of all this

trash? But your smile, new company,

 

longer hair, without me seated

anywhere close to you-

 

I can't keep on piling up all these

thoughts and miss the dump truck.

 

 

(This poem is just to exercise my brain. I've been too busy with work lately.)

"Words are not things, and yet they are not non-things either." - Ann Lauterbach

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goldenlangur

Hi JoelJosol,

 

The analogy you make between the garbage bags and truck and the emotional baggage is very effective.

 

 

 

A very successful exercise this :D

goldenlangur

 

 

Even a single enemy is too many and a thousand friends too few - Bhutanese saying.

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Hi Joel, Pretty good for a mind exercise. As gl has already said the analogy worked.

 

One thing you might want to look at more closely if you have the time, the 5th couplet tense seems out of sync with the rest of the poem.

 

or just get rid ---------- or just gotten rid (I think fits better - at least if I am reading it right.

of all this trash?

 

I like the modern reference to Face Book... very fresh.

 

~~Tink

~~ © ~~ Poems by Judi Van Gorder ~~

For permission to use this work you can write to Tinker1111@icloud.com

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Thanks everyone for the feedback. I made some improvement as Tinker suggested and improve my line cutting.

"Words are not things, and yet they are not non-things either." - Ann Lauterbach

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Hello Joel. The beggining and the tittle of the poem made me smile because i remembered how I was running to the truck once calling them to come back but they were too lazy for that, and I am missing it always :D. So I am giving up - it's not job for me anyway :D.

 

As someone said - I like the connection between the garbage truck and emotions. But happens :).

 

Good exercise :)

 

Aleksandra

The poet is a liar who always speaks the truth - Jean Cocteau

History of Macedonia

 

 

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Thanks, Aleks. These trucks run fast :-)

"Words are not things, and yet they are not non-things either." - Ann Lauterbach

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Frank E Gibbard

As others said Joel the parallels of disposal work well, quite acutely actually. Frank

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