Sleep Safely My Child

[rhymeguy]

I should like to tell to you a story

then tuck you into bed;

kiss you on your perfect brow;

smooth the hair back on your head.

I should like to hear your bedtime prayers,

"now I lay me down to sleep";

telling God your secrets

see you safe within his keep.

I should like to watch you dreaming

mischief dancing in your head;

planning your tomorrow

as you sleep there in your bed.

I should like to stand within your doorway

watch the moon beams light your face;

hear you whisper "love you daddy,

leave the door cracked just in case."

I should like to say good bye

but I haven't found the will.

I should like to turn away

yet I sit here still.

I have not touched the pillow

nor the bed where once you slept,

but I have starred upon this emptiness

and my lonely heart has wept.

So again tonight I'll tell our story.

I'll listen, watch and weep,

and pretend that moon beams light your face

as you safely sleep.

[dr_con]

Amazingly sad- very beautiful has brought a tear to my Father Eye;-)

 

Many Thanks RG...

 

Dr. Con

[tonyv]

I enjoyed the logical progression of thought and feeling, expressed via the timeline, from the point when the child is with the parent till the point where the child, for whatever reason, is no longer there. This part leads the reader to contemplate a multitude of possibilities:

 

I should like to say good bye

 

 

but I haven't found the will.

 

 

I should like to turn away

 

 

yet I sit here still.

Well composed.

 

Tony

[Aleksandra]

This is well crafted poem. You have a good bridge between the sense and the real.

 

I should like to say good bye

 

but I haven't found the will.

 

I should like to turn away

 

yet I sit here still.

 

The poem is sad and doesn't leave much space to talk about, it speaks for itself.

 

Thanks for sharing rhymeguy

 

Aleksandra

[Larsen M. Callirhoe]

i like this rhymeguy. you tell a father's perspective quite well of how they look at their children and their plights in life. enjoyed the read. thanks

 

victor

[goldenlangur]

Hi rg,

 

 

In the anguish, the pathos and sublime beauty of language, the loss of a child you describe here is redolent of Mallarme's Anatole's Tomb.

 

Such tenderness here:

kiss you on your perfect brow;

smooth the hair back on your head.

 

I should like to watch you dreaming

mischief dancing in your head;

 

The way you evoke every little detail of the everyday and then end the poem on a note unbearable of loss is deeply moving.

 

 

Thank you.

[rhymeguy]

This group of poets is so talented and your work so striking that it is always deeply humbling when something I offer is well received. My thanks to each of you for your kindness.

Dr. Con, knowing your particular bias when it comes to rhyme, it is always gratifying when something I write touches you.

I suppose I could observe the same of you, Tony, as I believe you share the same bias as the good Dr. Consequently I appreciate even more the time you spend with my work. Your analysis is thoughtful and your remark “well composed” is to me quite a complement.

There is always something authoritarian when you speak, Aleksandra. One just gets the sense that you know what you are talking about. So when you say “This is a well crafted poem” I know it must be so. I am so honored that you found it to be so.

Victor it is always an honor to hear from you. Your work is so deep and personal that mine seem shallow by comparison. Thank you for taking the time to comment.

GL, your voice is both gentle and profound. Your command and use of the language is remarkable. I love all of your poetry. To have you extend such gracious remarks to this little poem is a great compliment. It is privilege to share this space with you.

Again let me thank each of you for sharing your thoughts with me.

rg