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Poetry Magnum Opus

Summer Rain


Aleksandra

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These sounds of nature

transport me.

I want to be a raindrop,

to water the withered plants.

I can smell the breeze and

touch the happy flower.

The streetlight looks like a moon.

---Remember our moon?

A sigh is taking me far away

to many places and back.

---The whisper should come to you:

------- "Wake up. Watch the rain

and breath with me."

--- And to you, too:

------- "Hey, don't worry. The rain

will come to you."

 

 

--------Knock, knock, knock

--- the demons on the roof.

The poet is a liar who always speaks the truth - Jean Cocteau

History of Macedonia

 

 

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Wow Aleks!

 

Astounding a beautiful transcendent insight- both immediate and nostalgic. Just about perfect;-) Personally I would consider eliminating the last line the demons identifier- Because- in my opinion- the delicate balance of the moment is perfect without the identifier of the demonic- But you may disagree...

 

Many Thanks for a wondrous read;-)

 

DC

Gate(less.thumb.png.dc23b19d2478d37a9f6fcdc563973026.pnghttps://conjurd.substack.com/welcome Come on over and check out my poetry substack y'all;-)

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Alek, you regularly impress and delight me with your poems. I love how you harness the rain -- not just any rain, but a summer rain! -- and use it as a vehicle to draw the reader into the speaker's world, a world of loneliness, tempered with a child-like innocence best expressed in the speaker's awareness of beauty:

 

I can smell the breeze and

touch the happy flower.

The melancholy is offset by her wish to beautify -- a characteristic which has a lovely naivety to it. I also love how you show the fact that it's night (The streetlight looks like a moon) and how you introduce another into the mix: Remember our moon?

 

The "sigh" which takes the speaker far away/to many places and back indicates that she is trapped between several worlds. This can be gathered from her communications to two loved ones. She longs to connect with the first, a loved one who is somehow absent:

 

---The whisper should come to you:

------- 'Wake up. Watch the rain

and breath with me.'

To the other, she simply states,

 

--- And to you, too:

------- 'Hey, don't worry. The rain

will come to you.'

Yes, all the things the narrator feels will be felt by this other: you will feel it, too. Ties that bind are manifest here, also.

 

I, myself, like the mention of the demons. The fact that they "knock" indicates that, by this time, that which was at first a light rain has become a downpour.

 

Tony

Here is a link to an index of my works on this site: tonyv's Member Archive topic

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Larsen M. Callirhoe

wow aleksandra. im impressed with you use of english jargon. the subtle use of english venacular has surpassed my expectations of your voice in poetry. this is picture pefect. i loved the lines tony highlighted on and commented on most. you have such a way with your readers that tracends life and time and transcends us into your world. i love it.

 

vic

 

btw i enjoy the scenary on your farmville virtual farm. once i grow and harvest a for more crops i will have a cool looking farm too lol.

Larsen M. Callirhoe

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goldenlangur

Hi Aleksandra,

 

A mystical undertone to this reminiscent of Rumi or Arabi - the longing and the celebration of the rain, symbolic of an aspiration and love beyond the terre.

 

The unexpected introduction of the demons on the roof opens up the poem and emphasizes this transcendental tone.

 

 

I enjoyed this very much.

goldenlangur

 

 

Even a single enemy is too many and a thousand friends too few - Bhutanese saying.

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Wow Aleks!

 

Astounding a beautiful transcendent insight- both immediate and nostalgic. Just about perfect;-) Personally I would consider eliminating the last line the demons identifier- Because- in my opinion- the delicate balance of the moment is perfect without the identifier of the demonic- But you may disagree...

 

Many Thanks for a wondrous read;-)

 

DC

 

DC thanks for this lovelly comment. About the last part not that I disagree but me like a writer had a need to put there that demonic part - watching by the subjective side :) - that talks to me and wakes me from the " dream " ... back to the reality :rolleyes:

 

I like your opinion about that.

 

Thanks again.

 

Aleksandra

The poet is a liar who always speaks the truth - Jean Cocteau

History of Macedonia

 

 

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Alek, you regularly impress and delight me with your poems.

 

Ah Tony, I am pleased that you impressed by my poems :). I learned from you - a lot, thank you for that.

 

The "sigh" which takes the speaker far away/to many places and back indicates that she is trapped between several worlds. This can be gathered from her communications to two loved ones. She longs to connect with the first, a loved one who is somehow absent

 

Did you write the poem Tony? :icon_eek: :icon_cyclops:

 

I, myself, like the mention of the demons. The fact that they "knock" indicates that, by this time, that which was at first a light rain has become a downpour.

 

Tony

 

You are almost 100 % right - but I would add some metaphor of the meaning too, so then it will be complete.

 

Tony I amazed by your interpretation of the poem. Your reviews on my work, means a lot to me, and always look forward for what you have to say.

 

Thank you

 

Aleksandra

The poet is a liar who always speaks the truth - Jean Cocteau

History of Macedonia

 

 

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wow aleksandra. im impressed with you use of english jargon. the subtle use of english venacular has surpassed my expectations of your voice in poetry.

 

Vic I am glad you think this. Nice to hear that I am getting better :).

 

 

btw i enjoy the scenary on your farmville virtual farm. once i grow and harvest a for more crops i will have a cool looking farm too lol.

 

Vic I can tell that your farm is every day better :). Thanks for being my neighbour there :)

 

Aleksandra

The poet is a liar who always speaks the truth - Jean Cocteau

History of Macedonia

 

 

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Hi Aleksandra,

 

A mystical undertone to this reminiscent of Rumi or Arabi - the longing and the celebration of the rain, symbolic of an aspiration and love beyond the terre.

 

The unexpected introduction of the demons on the roof opens up the poem and emphasizes this transcendental tone.

 

 

I enjoyed this very much.

 

Golden, as always, your comment gives different dimension of the poem, what always makes me to re-read my own poem, and to look for the beauty what you express in your comment.

 

Your comment is a compliment for me.

 

Glad you noticed the opening of the poem, right on the end.

 

Thank you my friend.

 

Aleksandra

The poet is a liar who always speaks the truth - Jean Cocteau

History of Macedonia

 

 

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