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Poetry Magnum Opus

Missing insanity!


Bloodyday

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This morning, the cloud was not so black,

That’s why it didn’t drizzle so much.

I stood on the balcony to watch your smile,

But you still didn’t wake up!

Do you have both any connection

Neither to rain heavy

Nor to show your smile for free?

I better kiss the cigarette

To have some nicotine in my brain.

Otherwise the whole day

I might be spoiled like insane!

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Hi RoNy,

 

 

I can't help thinking how soulful this would sound as a ghazal Shariry. It has that same interplay of contrasts and opposites to suggest longing and unfulfilled love, particularly here:

 

Neither to rain heavy

Nor to show your smile for free?

 

Pyar ke pagalpan mein - is the lingering thought here.

 

 

Thank you.

Edited by goldenlangur

goldenlangur

 

 

Even a single enemy is too many and a thousand friends too few - Bhutanese saying.

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I agree with Goldenlangur. The part about the smile being "for free" is significant. I also like this:

 

I better kiss the cigarette

To have some nicotine in my brain.

It's clear that the poet is doing many things in his daily life (besides writing verse) as he tries to cope with his sadness.

 

Tony

Here is a link to an index of my works on this site: tonyv's Member Archive topic

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Wonderful one from you again. Rony you was in silence some time and look at you now :). Seems the writer block if you had was helpful for you :). This is wonderful expressed poem. I am impressed.

 

Aleksandra

The poet is a liar who always speaks the truth - Jean Cocteau

History of Macedonia

 

 

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I like the stark real images- The simple description of a moment and its consequences leading to a complex emotive stance. The grammar could use a little polishing but otherwise a fine, fine piece!

 

DC&J

Gate(less.thumb.png.dc23b19d2478d37a9f6fcdc563973026.pnghttps://conjurd.substack.com/welcome Come on over and check out my poetry substack y'all;-)

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