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Blackened Stones


goldenlangur

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Blackened Stones

 

 

In dreams

 

it is you who draws

 

The Milky Way

 

with blackened stones –

 

an ebony slash across

 

the full moon.

 

 

Hills and valleys undulate

 

wave upon wave of words

 

that froth and flow

 

past the temple, over the stone bridge

 

to a fork in the road.

 

 

Torn in half

 

I wonder if I should follow

 

vistas that gleam in the distance

 

or should I stand

 

under this old weeping cypress

 

and wait for you

 

to un-stain the moon?

Edited by goldenlangur

goldenlangur

 

 

Even a single enemy is too many and a thousand friends too few - Bhutanese saying.

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Golden,

 

A very clean write. Great imagery, and the mood. "blackened stones" and "un-stain the moon" struck me. I think these phrases are dramatic.

The last stanza leads me to "Two roads diverged in a wood", and you have to make a decision.

 

Enjoyed.

 

Lake

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Hi Dr. Con,

 

What a generous appraisal indeed!:

 

The best example of 'Imagist' poetry I have seen in awhile- A concrete image played upon in fantastic detail. Lovely, resonant and effective!

 

Well, well done,

 

Dr. Con

 

Thank you very much.

goldenlangur

 

 

Even a single enemy is too many and a thousand friends too few - Bhutanese saying.

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Hi Lake,

 

So encouraging that you read this as a "clean write". I'm also delighted by your interpretation of the images.

 

 

Thank you very much.

goldenlangur

 

 

Even a single enemy is too many and a thousand friends too few - Bhutanese saying.

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Goldenlangur you presented a wonderful poem.

 

I enjoyed walking through your images. The last part of the poem sounds very powerful and poetical, full with brilliant expressions.

 

I am pleased to read such a wonderful poem gl.

 

Thank you for sharing.

 

Aleksandra

The poet is a liar who always speaks the truth - Jean Cocteau

History of Macedonia

 

 

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GL, a stained moon over a landscape, with foreground and distance painted. Nice projection of wanting to stay put or move on.

"Words are not things, and yet they are not non-things either." - Ann Lauterbach

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I agree a lot with Dr. Con's "imagist" characterization of this poem, Goldenlangur. Your poem makes me feel like I'm right there, in that night, under those stars, in that moment experiencing all of it.

 

The speaker's ambivalence when s/he gets to the fork in the road raises the question: is the grass really greener over there, near that gleaming vista? Perhaps when one gets there, it's just the same, and there's only another vista. The safest place to be, emotionally and spiritually, may very well be right here, "under the Milky Way tonight."

 

Tony

Here is a link to an index of my works on this site: tonyv's Member Archive topic

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  • 2 weeks later...
Larsen M. Callirhoe

enjpyed the read GL. very poetical write. i agree with tony i feel like i am at that fork. which path do i take are the thoughts triculating in the head. you and tony are on a role. both pf you have posted some recent treasures jewels we should relish over.

 

good to hear from you.

 

i have been on facebook lately playing a game called farmville. hard to believe ive been at it 4 months and only written three poems in the last 5 months. i told aleks the other day that i need a break from writing.

 

this poem is an example of what poets adspire to relate to others. you did a perfect job of that in thi work.

 

victor

Larsen M. Callirhoe

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Blackened Stones

 

In dreams

it is you who draws

The Milky Way

with blackened stones –

an ebony slash across

the full moon.

 

Hills and valleys undulate

wave upon wave of words

that froth and flow

past the temple, over the stone bridge

to a fork in the road.

 

Torn in half

I wonder if I should follow

vistas that gleam in the distance

or should I stand

under this old weeping cypress

and wait for you

to un-stain the moon?

 

Wow GL, As usual your exotic imagery punctuates the emotion of your poem. After my initial reaction of awe, I did have a little question. I love the imagery of the ebony slash across the full moon drawn with blacken stones. But the Milky Way is light in mind and I have trouble visualizing a black Milky Way slashed across the moon. Maybe I think too much. Your words flow and ebb as described in the poem, it sounded good, it touched me. That is what is important.

 

The rest of the poem is flawless. Choice between bright vista or standing under a weeping cyprus, I think the decision is already made. Waiting for another to unstain the moon sounds very sad to me.

 

I really did like this poem. You know I am your biggest fan.

 

~~Tink

~~ © ~~ Poems by Judi Van Gorder ~~

For permission to use this work you can write to Tinker1111@icloud.com

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I'm delighted Aleksandra that the images here spoke to you.

 

 

This generous praise is something I shall cherish:

 

I enjoyed walking through your images. The last part of the poem sounds very powerful and poetical, full with brilliant expressions.

 

I am pleased to read such a wonderful poem gl.

 

Thank you for sharing.

 

Aleksandra

 

 

Thank you very much.

goldenlangur

 

 

Even a single enemy is too many and a thousand friends too few - Bhutanese saying.

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I appreciate your wonderfully succinct reading and the way you've honed into the intention:

 

 

GL, a stained moon over a landscape, with foreground and distance painted. Nice projection of wanting to stay put or move on.

 

Thank you very much JoelJosol

goldenlangur

 

 

Even a single enemy is too many and a thousand friends too few - Bhutanese saying.

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Hi Tony,

 

 

I appreciate this wonderful reading:

 

The speaker's ambivalence when s/he gets to the fork in the road raises the question: is the grass really greener over there, near that gleaming vista? Perhaps when one gets there, it's just the same, and there's only another vista. The safest place to be, emotionally and spiritually, may very well be right here, "under the Milky Way tonight."

 

Tony

 

I'm glad that you were ale to enter the moment here. You and DC have inspired me to read some imagist poets to explore more how this works.

 

 

Thank you very much.

goldenlangur

 

 

Even a single enemy is too many and a thousand friends too few - Bhutanese saying.

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Hi victor,

 

 

I'm moved by your generous praise here:

 

enjpyed the read GL. very poetical write. i agree with tony i feel like i am at that fork. which path do i take are the thoughts triculating in the head. you and tony are on a role. both pf you have posted some recent treasures jewels we should relish over.

 

good to hear from you.

 

i have been on facebook lately playing a game called farmville. hard to believe ive been at it 4 months and only written three poems in the last 5 months. i told aleks the other day that i need a break from writing.

 

this poem is an example of what poets adspire to relate to others. you did a perfect job of that in thi work.

 

victor

 

You have no idea how encouraging this is as I have little time to write and often have ideas in my head but no leisure to explore fully.

 

 

I hear that facebook can be addictive and hope you will write more.

goldenlangur

 

 

Even a single enemy is too many and a thousand friends too few - Bhutanese saying.

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Hi Tink,

 

 

Thank you for taking the trouble to mull over this piece and post a considered response:

 

Wow GL, As usual your exotic imagery punctuates the emotion of your poem. After my initial reaction of awe, I did have a little question. I love the imagery of the ebony slash across the full moon drawn with blacken stones. But the Milky Way is light in mind and I have trouble visualizing a black Milky Way slashed across the moon. Maybe I think too much. Your words flow and ebb as described in the poem, it sounded good, it touched me. That is what is important.

 

 

Re the the blackening of the Milky Way, I think each reader brings their own interpretation and I'm grateful for this.

 

Waiting for another to unstain the moon sounds very sad to me.

 

I'm glad that this came across for you.

 

 

I really did like this poem. You know I am your biggest fan.

 

As always you are truly kind and generous.

 

 

 

Thank you very much.

goldenlangur

 

 

Even a single enemy is too many and a thousand friends too few - Bhutanese saying.

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Blackened Stones

 

 

In dreams

 

it is you who draws

 

The Milky Way

 

with blackened stones –

 

an ebony slash across

 

the full moon.

 

 

 

Hills and valleys undulate

 

wave upon wave of words

 

that froth and flow

 

past the temple, over the stone bridge

 

to a fork in the road.

 

 

 

Torn in half

 

I wonder if I should follow

 

vistas that gleam in the distance

 

or should I stand

 

under this old weeping cypress

 

and wait for you

 

to un-stain the moon?

 

 

A stained moon, shining in a distance .... I think somehow the descision has already been made.

 

You know i love your poetry GL.

Edited by summayya
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