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Poetry Magnum Opus

Roaming


Lake

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Roaming

 

No one knows when

this little flower withered,

left behind

hairy white heads

crownless,

without butterflies

nor bees

dancing around.

Softly bent down,

ground-stems-twist,

persistently it awaits

for the final blow.

After all,

it can only drift, rove;

it is a dandelion.

 

.

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Lake,

 

Descriptive, accurate and just plain fun. A very enjoyable feast- The last line (to me) is a little abrupt and falls a bit flat- Maybe something like: After-all it is its nature/ the ever moving dandelion... Or... well just a thought...

 

The title (and thematic substance) is a joy as well...

 

Many Thanks,

 

DC&J

Gate(less.thumb.png.dc23b19d2478d37a9f6fcdc563973026.pnghttps://conjurd.substack.com/welcome Come on over and check out my poetry substack y'all;-)

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Lake, this is a very emotional and metaphorical piece. I enjoyed reading it all along, loudly. It's amazing how you took the flower as an metaphor.

This poem is one my favorites by you.

 

Aleksandra

The poet is a liar who always speaks the truth - Jean Cocteau

History of Macedonia

 

 

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This makes me think of summer and one of my not-so-liked chores: cutting the grass at my parents house from time to time. But you left out the part about the horseflies ...

 

But, really, it's beautifully expressed, Lake. Good choice of rove in lieu of roam in the penultimate line since you already have the latter in the title.

 

Tony

Here is a link to an index of my works on this site: tonyv's Member Archive topic

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Hi dr_con,

 

Thanks for your comment. The last line does sound a bit abrupt, doesn't it? I'll think it over.

Glad you like the title.

 

Lake,

 

The last line (to me) is a little abrupt and falls a bit flat- Maybe something like: After-all it is its nature/ the ever moving dandelion... Or... well just a thought...

 

The title (and thematic substance) is a joy as well...

 

Many thanks and happy holidays.

 

Lake

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Alek,

 

So glad you took the flower as an metaphor. What I intened was to use it to imply immigrants. But others may have different takes and that's fine.

 

Many thanks and happy holidays.

 

Lake

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Good choice of rove in lieu of roam in the penultimate line since you already have the latter in the title.

 

What can I say ? You caught me on that again, Tony.

 

Season's greetings.

 

Lake

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