Jump to content
Poetry Magnum Opus

Day of the Star


waxwings

Recommended Posts

Awaiting winter’s darkest hour,

we light the flame of mankind’s hope

and ring the bells of every tower.

 

Then, facing winter’s coldest night,

we pin our hopes on ancient star

and look for God’s rekindled light.

 

Ikars Justin Sarma

 

 

Merry Christmas everyone.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Hi Ikars,

 

Yes, I read the meters and the rhymes and structurally, the two verses are almost identical - the first line starts with a present participle, the second line, an SVO sentence, starts with "we" and the third line starts with "and"...

 

Season's greetings to all.

 

Lake

Link to post
Share on other sites

Though I'm just getting to replying here now, I did read and delight in this when you posted it, Ikars. I enjoyed the near rhyme of hour/tower/star. And the iambic tetrameter is flawless, too.

 

I noted your omission of the article an in line five but did not find it objectionable. Rather, I found that it works quite well because you're referring to a particular star, the Star of Bethlehem. Thanks for the Christmas wishes and for the lovely reminder as to the "reason for the season."

 

Tony

Here is a link to an index of my works on this site: tonyv's Member Archive topic

Link to post
Share on other sites

Waxwings, I love this poem. I think is one of your best as well. The sense, the music, the spirit of this poem gives a pleasure to me as a reader.

 

Thank you and Happy Holidays.

 

Aleksandra

The poet is a liar who always speaks the truth - Jean Cocteau

History of Macedonia

 

 

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • 2 weeks later...

Hi waxwings,

 

A great verse for mid-winter celebrations of the birth of Christ.

 

 

I too like the echoing rhyming effect of hour/tower. Your final line is wonderfully uplifting.

 

Christmas was working week for us here. But why not raise a few bowls of potent local brew to a festive greeting ;)

goldenlangur

 

 

Even a single enemy is too many and a thousand friends too few - Bhutanese saying.

Link to post
Share on other sites
Hi waxwings,

 

A great verse for mid-winter celebrations of the birth of Christ.

 

 

I too like the echoing rhyming effect of hour/tower. Your final line is wonderfully uplifting.

 

Christmas was working week for us here. But why not raise a few bowls of potent local brew to a festive greeting ;)

 

I am glad this trifle made you feel like Christmas is a truly significant happening to celebrate. I have followed your advice.

 

Have a happy and productive New Year.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

By using this site, you agree to our Guidelines.