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It's Time for Triolet


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rev:

 

It's time for triolet—

Gee, it sounds not very hard!

Rules in samples profess.

It's time for triolet--

Why, so many cold sweats?

I've lost myself in the dark.

It's time for triolet--

Oh, it proves now very hard!

 

 

...............................

 

rev( by waxwings):

 

It's time to write a triolet.

Gee, it does not sound too hard

to follow samples I have read.

It's time to write a triolet,

Though I must break into cold sweat

while scratching head to find the spark.

It's time to write a triolet.

See, it was not very hard

 

original:

 

It's time for triolet—

Gee, it sounds not too hard!

the best examples read.

It's time for triolet--

Why, oozes the cold sweat?

I scratch my head for spark.

It's time for triolet--

Gee, it sounds not too hard!

 

note: I'm learning trio from Tony's poems. special thanks to him!

Edited by worm
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It's time for triolet—

Gee, it sounds not too hard!

the best examples read.

It's time for triolet--

Why, oozes the cold sweat?

I scratch my head for spark.

It's time for triolet--

Gee, it sounds not too hard!

 

 

note: I'm learning trio from Tony's poems. special thanks to him!

 

I must admit worm I like a longer line to give some music to this form, but that is probably just me.

 

badge

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Light and playful.

 

I don't know if you want it loose (in my other comment on your poem, I used "loose" which means "let go") or strict.

 

Tinker's link on Triolet

 

http://www.poetrymagnumopus.com/index.php?showtopic=1343

 

I did a search, this is what I've found:

 

An effective conventional triolet achieves two things; firstly the naturalness of the refrain and secondly the alteration of the refrain's meaning.

 

Hope it helps.

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It's time for triolet—

Gee, it sounds not too hard!

the best examples read.

It's time for triolet--

Why, oozes the cold sweat?

I scratch my head for spark.

It's time for triolet--

Gee, it sounds not too hard!

 

 

note: I'm learning trio from Tony's poems. special thanks to him!

 

Good of you to give tony credit for the impetus. You might try to expand this to be more true to the form, as tony does. Not hard to expand lines to get some flow as badge says. Hope you don't mind the kind of light editing such as a caring instructor in a literature class might give you.

Iam sure you can, so, here goes:

 

It's time to write a triolet.

Gee, it does not sound too hard

to follow samples I have read.

It's time to write a triolet,

Though I must break into cold sweat

while scratching head to find the spark.

It's time to write a triolet.

See, it was not very hard.

 

You are a modern and must dare as is done these days, to alter a refrain line to make it more interesting w/o upsetting tradition. If we ever meet face to face you are welcome to slug me for doing this. Keep on writing, for that is the only know way to become a greater poet.

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I must admit worm I like a longer line to give some music to this form, but that is probably just me.

 

badge

 

when I posted the poem I felt rather unsatisfactory, but impotent for any improvement.I didn’t find the melody, even I tried the rhyming as regulated, not knowing the reason why. some short-lined poems, like Tony's, reach their goals as expected. in my case, I think you are right--- longer line helps. Thanks for instruction badge.

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I don't know if you want it loose (in my other comment on your poem, I used "loose" which means "let go") or strict.

hi lake, before I’m capable enough to handle my writings freely while leaving no trace of manipulation, I might as well stick to some established rules, with my lines tightened if possible.

 

I did a search, this is what I've found:

 

An effective conventional triolet achieves two things; firstly the naturalness of the refrain and secondly the alteration of the refrain's meaning.

Your distilled information of this form, neat and naturalness of the refrain, the alteration in its meaning, facilitates my comprehension.

 

 

I follow your guide to Tink’s post about trio and read with great delight. The two exemplified poems are gurgling carefreely, while being reined with an imperceptible rules. This is very inspiring, so I’d like to copy them here as my reference to be reviewed from time to time( I hope Tink won't mind me doing so),

 

Easy is the triolet,

If you really learn to make it!

Once a neat refrain you get,

Easy is the triolet.

As you see! I pay my debt

With another rhyme. Deuce take it,

Easy is the triolet,

If you really learn to make it!

 

--- Ernest Henley; British Poet (1849-1903)

 

Cat Tale

The kitty flips her fluffy tail

displaying inborn-regal grace,

her half closed eyes create a veil.

The princess flips her fluffy tail,

aloof and pampered tips the scale.

With feigned disinterest on her face,

the kitty flips her fluffy tail,

she moves with orchestrated grace.

---------------- --Judi Van Gorder

 

Thanks lake. You do help me a lot!

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Good of you to give tony credit for the impetus. You might try to expand this to be more true to the form, as tony does. Not hard to expand lines to get some flow as badge says. Hope you don't mind the kind of light editing such as a caring instructor in a literature class might give you.

 

Oh dear waxwings, thanks for your strong help. To be frank, I was trapped there, unable to move when I tried to better the poem. Yes badge finds the crux to my trouble. I’m taking in more from all of you, caring instructors here than in a literature class where I was a sleeping worm.

 

It's time to write a triolet.

Gee, it does not sound too hard

to follow samples I have read.

It's time to write a triolet,

Though I must break into cold sweat

while scratching head to find the spark.

It's time to write a triolet.

See, it was not very hard.

 

I’ve been so enchanted by the poem you recomposed in plain language. see! a lovely and unshackled trio, under your care is chanting merrily along. this appears easy to accomplish, but for me, it takes time. I’ll work harder, moving forward.

 

 

You are a modern and must dare as is done these days, to alter a refrain line to make it more interesting w/o upsetting tradition. If we ever meet face to face you are welcome to slug me for doing this. Keep on writing, for that is the only know way to become a greater poet.

 

from your comment I understand languages and forms are all full of life.

I thank your for your encouraging words. If we ever meet face to face, I’ll be pleased to hug( instead of slug) you.

 

and now the rehearsal --a bearhug waxwings!

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I must admit worm I like a longer line to give some music to this form, but that is probably just me.

 

badge

 

badge again, I thought I had got the canon of trio when I began to write this triolet, but it turns out to be a parody. However, this experience is rewarding. I’ve got so much all along. Though longer line produces nicer lyrical effect but I still want to try short line without too much change the original.

 

It's time to write a triolet.

Gee, it does not sound too hard

to follow samples I have read.

It's time to write a triolet,

Though I must break into cold sweat

while scratching head to find the spark.

It's time to write a triolet.

See, it was not very hard

 

waxwings

 

and waxwings, your revision suggests a lot. I have had it reedited into my post. Now I’ve compared with your ending and come up with another one, a tryout, with short lines and altered meaning of the refrain. It is so fun to play around with this little piece.

 

It’s time for triolet—

Gee, it sounds not very hard!

Rules in samples profess.

It’s time for triolet--

Why, so many cold sweats?

I’ve lost myself in the dark.

It’s time for triolet--

Oh, it proves now very hard!

 

I'm still looking forward to further improvement.

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It's commendable that you've given the form a try, Worm. And indeed an admirable endeavor it has been! You took on the task, did the research, and composed the poem.

 

You may be a worm, but I'm a serious turtle. It takes me a lot longer to try something new. Usually I'll duck into my shell as I try to muster up the courage to experiment.

 

Somehow the triolet came easily to me (maybe because it's such a short form), but there are so many forms I have yet to attempt (like the villanelle and the ghazal). Even a short poem takes me a long time to write -- I think the longest poems I have written have been sonnets (themselves short forms) -- and I think a longer poem would take me forever. But that's not to say I could gain command of any short form. Have you noticed that there are a lot of fantastic haiku and tanka on the board and that none of them bear my subscription? :icon_redface: I haven't even tried. I can envision myself going utterly insane trying to perfect three or five lines. But who knows? You encourage me here with this.

 

I'm impressed with all the fantastic, helpful participation from the others here on your triolet. I think you should keep at it. Maybe I'll try something new, too.

 

Tony

Here is a link to an index of my works on this site: tonyv's Member Archive topic

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It's commendable that you've given the form a try, Worm. And indeed an admirable endeavor it has been! You took on the task, did the research, and composed the poem.

 

Thanks Tony for this positiveness! When I first took on the task, I was so unsure. My virgin trio upset me the whole night after I had it posted, no outlet of retreat. Then I put my trust here, with my shyness revealed.

 

 

You may be a worm, but I'm a serious turtle. It takes me a lot longer to try something new. Usually I'll duck into my shell as I try to muster up the courage to experiment.

A worm is likable, also naïve and hateful, unfolding my silliness occasionally with courage, for the reason of turning myself into a loveable worm someday.

 

Somehow the triolet came easily to me (maybe because it's such a short form), but there are so many forms I have yet to attempt (like the villanelle and the ghazal). Even a short poem takes me a long time to write -- I think the longest poems I have written have been sonnets (themselves short forms) -- and I think a longer poem would take me forever. But that's not to say I could gain command of any short form. Have you noticed that there are a lot of fantastic haiku and tanka on the board and that none of them bear my subscription? I haven't even tried. I can envision myself going utterly insane trying to perfect three or five lines. But who knows? You encourage me here with this

 

Since I've been new to this board. There is no doubt that PMO is a treasure land. Unfortunately the digging job has just got its start; fortunately, it's started. I cherish what I've collected here. Ambitiously, I'd like to read all beautiful poems stored, and the ones that will be deposited. In return, I'll do my part for PMO, even though It will be the smallest.

 

I'm impressed with all the fantastic, helpful participation from the others here on your triolet. I think you should keep at it. Maybe I'll try something new, too.

 

I give my thankfulness to all helping poets, badge, lake, Tinker, waxwings and you. I'll keep it up, and with great interest I'm looking forward to something new from you.

Edited by worm
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  • 4 weeks later...

Hi, worm, again. I am always impressed when the poets are working hard, to give a try for any form, and when they are willing to go deeper in some specific subjects, when they are willing to improve their work... otherwise they wouldn't be called - poets. That's why I don't consider myself a real poet. :icon_redface: But yes, it's a treasure when you have around such a wonderful poets - enthusiasts. I admire them always.

 

I'm glad to read you and to meet your poetry closer.

 

Aleksandra

The poet is a liar who always speaks the truth - Jean Cocteau

History of Macedonia

 

 

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  • 2 weeks later...
I think the longest poems I have written have been sonnets (themselves short forms) -- and I think a longer poem would take me forever. Tony

 

You make me laugh, tony. I consider the sonnet a long form. I have written one villanelle, and that has to be my longest poem written only because I had to try and see if I could 'master' that form. OOps, I have written a pantoum. :blush:

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