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Aleksandra

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Along the sleeping river,

I burn with the city lights,

slowly but surely.

 

Among the faces,

I hide in a few spots on the corner.

I'm seeking home,

the bed, the breeze without window...

 

One sir holds up his hat in hello

and passes me by.

 

Alone and pointless, I could follow

the flowing water --

it can't be wrong --

or just stare at the

tasteless liquid.

The poet is a liar who always speaks the truth - Jean Cocteau

History of Macedonia

 

 

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I have a friend who prefers the city anonymity, but then she writes and perhaps finds meaning in observing. There again that flowing river may find another home...either way there is always a choice.

 

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I love the ambivalence, Alek. But the uncertainty seems secondary, incidental, to a deeper sense of hopelessness/helplessness that's attendant throughout.

 

Tony

Here is a link to an index of my works on this site: tonyv's Member Archive topic

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Thank you, badge and Tony. You are always so encouraging with your comments. Thanks for taking time to please me with your words.

 

Aleksandra

The poet is a liar who always speaks the truth - Jean Cocteau

History of Macedonia

 

 

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my favorite parts of this work:

 

One sir holds up his hat in hello

and passes me by.

 

very evocative of the mood or feeling that I get from the piece-

 

and this:

 

Alone and pointless, I could follow

the flowing water --

it can't be wrong --

 

 

Just love that!

being pointless in 'self' and the river's inability to be "wrong" is a wonderful juxtaposition I think.

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Along the sleeping river,

I burn with the city lights,

slowly but surely.

 

Among the faces,

I hide in a few spots on the corner.

I'm seeking home,

the bed, the breeze without window...

 

One sir holds up his hat in hello

and passes me by.

 

Alone and pointless, I could follow

the flowing water --

it can't be wrong --

or just stare at the

tasteless liquid.

 

Hi Aleks, There is so much in the writing that I like about this one. The opening lines set the tone and does what most poets strive for but most often miss, it provides an ordinary image in an extraordinary way.The next stanza feels lost and lonely in a crowd and is very sad. Then "one sir holds up his hat in hello" an oh so human, uplifting experience so well described, so welcome to bring a ray of hope.

 

But then the last, ignoring the hope, "follow the water..../it can't be wrong.../ tasteless liquid" What can't be wrong? following or the water itself? I honestly was frightened by this "tasteless liquid" the only way to taste is to go into the water. My reaction was, no don't follow and I was very thankful for the words "or just stare".

 

~~Tink

~~ © ~~ Poems by Judi Van Gorder ~~

For permission to use this work you can write to Tinker1111@icloud.com

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Very interesting reading, Tinker. I am happy to see what kind of reaction you got from this poem.

Thank you very much for your inspiring comment.

 

Aleksandra

The poet is a liar who always speaks the truth - Jean Cocteau

History of Macedonia

 

 

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Aleks,

 

a very concise summary of the mood from Dostoevsky's "Notes from the Underground." An existential perspective which at once frees and discomforts- A wonderful piece!

 

DC&J

 

Juris, I am honored by this comment. Though I have never read "Notes from the Underground," I am familiar with the novel by Dostoevsky from my school days. As much as I remember, there were chapters that went from expressing suffering, to enjoyment of suffering, to theories of logic etc... ?! However, don't mind me here icon_smile.gif It was long time ago, but it was pleasure to know what connection you made.

 

Thank you.

 

Aleksandra

The poet is a liar who always speaks the truth - Jean Cocteau

History of Macedonia

 

 

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