Jump to content
Poetry Magnum Opus

Not Toxic


JoelJosol

Recommended Posts

--------------------------------- revision -----------------------------------

Somewhere I read that age is not toxic. It does not make love sick,

get weak and die. Love is like muscles. You stretch your arms

to draw some shells near, bend toward the clear waters to inspect.

There are star fishes, red, orange, and yellow, decorating

walls of a room repainted to recycle its appeal.

 

We agreed early on that we will take up resistance training,

lift some weight from off our chest and dump them on the table.

We need to stretch our legs, arms, back, and life span

or pull up some web sites to get some advice. We really need

to work this out.

 

We convinced ourselves this: our love would be like the sun,

rising up to a new day no matter how often darkness engulfs

us. Tomorrow is another set of breakfast, lunch and dinner.

A new round of vegetables, fish and chicken to keep our bodies

from pork, beef, donuts and sweets.

 

I've got a wish: be here every morning even if Stevie Wonder

wails from the radio, 'this time could mean good-bye'.

 

--------------------------------- original ------------------------------------

 

Somewhere I read that age is not toxic. It does not make love sick,

get weak and die. Love is like muscles. You stretch your arms to draw

some shells near, bend toward the clear waters to inspect. There are

star fishes, red, orange, and yellow, decorating walls of a room

repainted to recycle its appeal.

 

We agreed early on. We'll take up resistance training,

lift some weight from off our chest. Dump them on the table.

Browse some web sites to get free advise. Perhaps, we can extend

our lifespan, stretch it out like our legs, warming up, getting ready

for an half-hour workout.

 

We convinced ourselves this- our love would be there as sure as the sun

would come back the next day no matter how often darkness engulfs

us. Tomorrow is another set of breakfast, lunch and dinner.

A new round of vegetables, fish and chicken to keep our bodies

from pork, beef, donuts and sweets.

 

I've got a wish- be there every morning when I wake up even if

Stevie Wonder wails from the radio, 'this time could mean good-bye'.

"Words are not things, and yet they are not non-things either." - Ann Lauterbach

Link to post
Share on other sites

Despite a hint of cynicism -- "We convinced ourselves ... " -- I find this hopeful, especially the third verse and concluding couplet. I enjoyed it more than once. Thank you, Joel.

 

Tony

Here is a link to an index of my works on this site: tonyv's Member Archive topic

Link to post
Share on other sites

Love is perennial. I read this over a time or two and enjoyed it. I don't particularly agree with George Bernard Shaw who said that “youth is wasted on the young”; for we are old much longer than we are young. I smiled wryly at the humour in your end couplet; it reminded me of something a friend said (who retired to the South of France). “Whoever wakes first, checks that the other is still breathing.” :icon_sunny: Benjamin.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Thank you for your feedback, Tony and Benjamin. I'll come back soon. Despite the holidays, the work is heavy rushing towards year end.

"Words are not things, and yet they are not non-things either." - Ann Lauterbach

Link to post
Share on other sites
Larsen M. Callirhoe

hi joel, i have to be honest. i don't understand how to love another. don't really have it in this life either. my parents and i are at friction about everything now adays. im still thankful their still here with me on earth. but i need a lover not in the sexual sense but i needed a mentally intelligent female companion ten years ago when i needed one. my karoline is nice to have now i feel everyone wants to be wanted by another to feel warm inside and have there heart palpatate and flutter when in lover's presence. on this world i was shit on by everyone i encountered but about 15 people till a few years ago. christ karoline is really not my type except business-savoy wise. i like her but i really don't think our philosophies are the same. but my angels tell me this is who god wants me to currently have as a earthly companion. and god really hasnt eased my suffering unless it suited this entitoes will. i will shut up now.

 

this is what your poem sparked my molecules in my brain to respond with. sad isnt it. because of a fuckin lousy accident i will have to pay so many back karma wise in another existence when few of the 1000's of those that have cared for me (tho many mightof thought well in their hearts) since my accident happened have provided me with clean caring compassionate care.

 

when i was little someone did something to me that messed up my attitude and writing script so no one could read my writings when i wrote with my hand educational oppurtunities doors closed. some stupid stuff done by my family screwed up my ctedit. now i know how to fix those discrepancies. back then i was clueless and inocent. since the world stole from me. i became a theif. when i became wealthy and got married i got down on my knees and asked god for away out deceitfulness and have a fruitful job aqnd blessed marriage. a month later i died in a car wreck. my marriage wasnt protected or blessed infact it ended after my health failed.

 

god has sophia. my elizabeth is not even on earth. why do i have to be lonely when god has someone.

 

ok sorry im to deep for anyone to help. i can't help it if hear and see into the spirit world, other demensions and realms etc... i talk to angels demons spirits extra terrestrials and christ who knows what else. if i could paint or draw or even being able to write and draw what i have seen i would scare the shit out of everyone living on earth. unfortunately my hands are crippled. im a quaqdriplegic that types with one finger. my heart and mind was never deserving of what im going thru. karma dictates mny of life's lessons for many reasons but i dictated nothing for what i have lived thru. even christ lived simplely with love till he suffered for 3 days till he was cruscified. ive been like this going on 15 years. i suffer severe nerve pain. i feel like im burning on fire and freezing cold at the same time. i can't go out in the sun. the rays beat down on me causing so much pain whether its 100 degrees outside or 0 degrees. im high on anti-depressants and pain pills. everyday im served a cocktail of all sorts of stuff the doctors think i need. all these drugs i take me

ss with my reality somuch so i lose touch with reality most days.

 

because of this and so much more my spirit wants to sleep forever and not exist anymore. if any of you couyld really phamtom this you would pray to god fasting from food water clothing shelther cover in ashes shacved of all bodily hair and weep that god could find away to comfort me because for the rest of eternity no matter what god does i will always have a broken heart.

Larsen M. Callirhoe

Link to post
Share on other sites

The poem dwells on the two sides of the same coin, Larsen. The comfort and discomfort of love. The joy and pain it brings. The joy of possession, the pain of loss.

 

You are a strong person, Larsen. Life has dealt you with hard things. You choose to fight back and make meaning out of your existence.

 

[Larsen, I would like to share these thoughts with you, for your consideration:

 

"When under trial, let no one say, 'I am being tried by God'. For with evil things God cannot be tried nor does he himself try anyone." (Bible book of James, chapter 1, verse 13. I hope you find comfort in those words. He didn't cause your accident or make you pay for some imaging bad things you did in the past or to test your faith.

 

God is presented this way

 

"He is healing the brokenhearted ones, and is binding up their painful spots." (Bible book of Psalms, chapter 147, verse 3) Yes, you can approach a God who cares.]

"Words are not things, and yet they are not non-things either." - Ann Lauterbach

Link to post
Share on other sites

Hi JoelJosol,

 

 

Yes, the edited version is more compact but has lost nothing of the rich imagery and use of language.

 

I like how each stanza links and expands on the central motif and your wonderfully ironic closing is a superb touch :D :

 

I've got a wish: be here every morning even if Stevie Wonder

wails from the radio, 'this time could mean good-bye'.

 

Good to read your work again.

goldenlangur

 

 

Even a single enemy is too many and a thousand friends too few - Bhutanese saying.

Link to post
Share on other sites

JJ,

 

A wonderful look at love and its continuity- A strong reflective piece, that shows clear thinking and a very poetic perspective- really find it a delight!

 

BTW advise should (?), maybe be advice... Helps the flow in my opinion...

 

Nice work!

 

DC&J

Gate(less.thumb.png.dc23b19d2478d37a9f6fcdc563973026.pnghttps://conjurd.substack.com/welcome Come on over and check out my poetry substack y'all;-)

Link to post
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

By using this site, you agree to our Guidelines.