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Poetry Magnum Opus

Memory Prevails


fdelano

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Over reality of sermons,

benedictions and cold

hardness insisting,

burials follow with

years of my stowing away

their images at selected times

inside one side or the other

of my brain where they live

as brightly and warm and

funny and loving as ever,

maybe even better without

the accompanying pains of

knowing their lives contained

troubles I would never know

or want to remember. R.I.P.

Continue to live with me

at odd moments when a word,

a smell or even a mood comes

questing. Grant me those grins,

your laughs or giggles, even a

surprising hug out of nowhere

you knew I needed. Stay here,

your voices of concern when

I suffer; bring me your

warm company.

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So true, they live on, inside us. Thankfully. The love never goes away because the memories do not. Very nicely written, in your own voice, Paco. My favorites, always.

 

t

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I would not double-space the lines. A poem, unless an epic, covering pages and pages, looks better and more appealing when confined to a page (not forcing reader to scroll). It would not hurt to choose bigger font.

 

Ideawise, this is a significant/good poem, but it does limp a bit semantically. Post a copy under Workshop and I'll have a few, hopefully illuminating and useful, suggestions.

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Heart-wrenching, Franklin, though it does shift from the "cold hardness" of "sermons and benedictions" to a softer, more manageable now expressed in the last three sentences. The use of "yourselves" instead of "yourself" in the last line is particularly thought-provoking.

 

Tony

 

 

I would not double-space the lines. A poem, unless an epic, covering pages and pages, looks better and more appealing when confined to a page (not forcing reader to scroll). It would not hurt to choose bigger font.

Though this may be true in lots of cases, Ike, I think it's quite all right (I mean, I like it) when members occasionally use different fonts and spacing in poems. Even if they do it all the time, as a matter of their own style, it's okay. That's why the editor tools are available for posting. It's also important to remember that this poem is presented here in the Member Poetry forum as a finished product. Though we are looking at it on monitors, perhaps it fits perfectly onto one page of a particular size paper.

 

My favorite font is Palatino Linotype. I use it all the time, elsewhere, and I sometimes think I should have set it as the default font for the board. But even if I had done that, individual members would still be able to alter the fonts of their posts, within reason, of course.

 

Tony

Here is a link to an index of my works on this site: tonyv's Member Archive topic

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Tamra, waxwings and Tony. Thanks for spending your time with this. It's a sort of think out loud belief I have. My bygone ralatives are still part of my family, to be recalled exactly as they were, so to me their special attributes stay with me to be called upon whenever.

 

As for the double-spacing, it's something that happened between Word and copy-paste here, not intended. In the original single-spaced versions, it reads more like my mental run on sentences. Thanks to all for your thoughtfulness.

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Hi Paco, Beautifully said, love lives as long as those who are loved live. I didn't find this as sad as wise. ~~Tink

 

Hi Tink. So correct. One reason I no longer attend funerals. I have my sisters and brothers with me whenever. Their personalities come to me whole, and I can hear them laugh when I do something silly, quite often. I don't live in the past; they have become part of my limited future. Thanks for noticing.

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Heart-wrenching, Franklin, though it does shift from the "cold hardness" of "sermons and benedictions" to a softer, more manageable now expressed in the last three sentences. The use of "yourselves" instead of "yourself" in the last line is particularly thought-provoking.

 

Tony

 

 

I would not double-space the lines. A poem, unless an epic, covering pages and pages, looks better and more appealing when confined to a page (not forcing reader to scroll). It would not hurt to choose bigger font.

Though this may be true in lots of cases, Ike, I think it's quite all right (I mean, I like it) when members occasionally use different fonts and spacing in poems. Even if they do it all the time, as a matter of their own style, it's okay. That's why the editor tools are available for posting. It's also important to remember that this poem is presented here in the Member Poetry forum as a finished product. Though we are looking at it on monitors, perhaps it fits perfectly onto one page of a particular size paper.

 

My favorite font is Palatino Linotype. I use it all the time, elsewhere, and I sometimes think I should have set it as the default font for the board. But even if I had done that, individual members would still be able to alter the fonts of their posts, within reason, of course.

 

Tony

 

Although not strongly, I disagree. I did not question font choice, but font size. It has to do w/esthetics and double spacing is hardly a purposefull 'innovations' and one that readers may find disturbing. Anything that is not called for by normal practice could very well raise the question, "Has this some hidden meaning I am missing?"

 

I believe that a good test of a poem's worthiness is to submit it to a contest, and a very common guideline for submission is to not double-space lines or the poem will not pass the first cut.

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goldenlangur

Hello fdelano,

 

Nice to meet you. :D

 

I like how you juxtapose the larger social-religious observances of death with the more personal and heartfelt grieving. These lines are truly inspired:

 

at odd moments when a word

or smell or even a mood comes

questing. Grant me that grin,

that laugh or giggle, that

surprising hug out of nowhere

 

They capture the fragments of memory of one's time with a loved one and how these reinforce that love and longing.

 

 

Thank you.

goldenlangur

 

 

Even a single enemy is too many and a thousand friends too few - Bhutanese saying.

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Hello fdelano,

 

Nice to meet you. :D

 

I like how you juxtapose the larger social-religious observances of death with the more personal and heartfelt grieving. These lines are truly inspired:

 

at odd moments when a word

or smell or even a mood comes

questing. Grant me that grin,

that laugh or giggle, that

surprising hug out of nowhere

 

They capture the fragments of memory of one's time with a loved one and how these reinforce that love and longing.

 

 

Thank you.

 

 

 

 

Thank you, Langor. You understand everything I was trying to say, and why not? It's really just a simple thing I have carried in my head since adulthood--a long time. Glad you saw something worthwhile.

fdh

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