fdelano Posted March 18, 2011 Share Posted March 18, 2011 (edited) The Real World At the quarter mile point, a white rock rests against the base of a sycamore, having tumbled years before from the ancient quarry. The flat spot on top of the three- foot tall stone, I claim for my first rest on a two-mile walk along my river, Daughter of the Stars. Under the shade, even in the midst of summer, the air cools my brow as I allow my heart to slow its beat. The pleasure surrounds me. A gentle slope leads to the slow current of the river below, its surface slick in the reflected light from a rising brass sun behind me. I dig into the damp soil with my walking stick and uncover two small red wrigglers that squirm rapidly in the unexpected nascent heat growing. A quick flick with my dogwood stick sends the natural lures arcing into the water world where other creatures wait for just such culinary pleasures. Bluegills vie for each small bite and skitter away with their prizes, soon inhaled before they turn back in memory to the place of their manna from above. Reluctantly, I heft my weight from the solid rock, back onto the two-lane Macadam road leading to Gander's farm, rich in smells pleasingly awful. I stop again for a few minutes to sip from the pool below the springhouse where the watercress waits, its green cool flavor bestowing a slow eaten gift. Past the centuries-old, many red coats barn, its sliding door open to the rich mixture of sorghum and grain to fatten fated black cows in the holding pen. Turn around point at the tractor barn built just to house the refurbished collected machines, lovingly driven each week, just to make sure they still work. Two miles under my feet as I proudly pop the cap on a sweaty bottled beer from the cooler in the trunk of my meticulously clean antique car. Edited March 18, 2011 by fdelano Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tonyv Posted March 21, 2011 Share Posted March 21, 2011 Idyllic, Franklin. I liked how you used the proper names of local places and landmarks. I just don't know why you had to disturb the red wrigglers. The titles perfect. Thanks for keeping it real. Tony Quote Here is a link to an index of my works on this site: tonyv's Member Archive topic Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
moonqueen Posted March 21, 2011 Share Posted March 21, 2011 I know I always tell you this, but again, Franklin, the stories of your world and your life, told in my favorite of your voices, your own, are the best. From your childhood, to VN, to yesterday, you let us in and give us more than a taste, usually a real bite, with real flavor and satisfying to the last swallow. These verses are, far and away, my favorites. "Reluctantly, I heft my weight from the solid rock, back onto the two-lane Macadam road leading to Gander's farm, rich in smells pleasingly awful. I stop again for a few minutes to sip from the pool below the springhouse where the watercress waits, its green cool flavor bestowing a slow eaten gift. Past the centuries-old, many red coats barn, its sliding door open to the rich mixture of sorghum and grain to fatten fated black cows in the holding pen." "rich in smells pleasingly awful", how I love that one. Excellent. The imagery allows this piece to settle into the mind and invites it to become a memory of our own. Don't stop writing these 'color snapshots'. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aleksandra Posted April 3, 2011 Share Posted April 3, 2011 Hi, Franklin. This poem is very authentic with its expressions. I loved the second stanza. Well done. Thank you for posting it. Aleksandra Quote The poet is a liar who always speaks the truth - Jean Cocteau History of Macedonia Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rosschandler Posted April 11, 2011 Share Posted April 11, 2011 great form and structure. at the end of the day craftsmanship rises to the top. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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