fdelano Posted April 2, 2011 Share Posted April 2, 2011 (edited) Snow dust coats web spirals hitched to beds of dormant shrubs cold-storage for wayward prey bound to wait for spring is not the word for an aged mind looking back to warm wafts of summer breezes on decks filled with friends and airy conversation without a thought of fall and recover with leaves of old memories that fade with the ongoing winter Edited April 2, 2011 by fdelano Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tonyv Posted April 4, 2011 Share Posted April 4, 2011 Transience, wistfully depicted. I especially liked cold-storage for wayward prey/bound to wait for spring. Super title, too! Tony Quote Here is a link to an index of my works on this site: tonyv's Member Archive topic Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lake Posted April 5, 2011 Share Posted April 5, 2011 Hi F, I like the short lined poem, but I struggled a bit at the beginning and was looking for the subject of "is " at the beginning of the second stanza. I am not sure if it is the placement of the words or what, but I know it is my insufficient knowledge. Then the next three stanzas read smoothly to me. It must be a long winter, we are all looking forward to spring. Thanks. Lake Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fdelano Posted April 5, 2011 Author Share Posted April 5, 2011 Hi F, I like the short lined poem, but I struggled a bit at the beginning and was looking for the subject of "is " at the beginning of the second stanza. I am not sure if it is the placement of the words or what, but I know it is my insufficient knowledge. Then the next three stanzas read smoothly to me. It must be a long winter, we are all looking forward to spring. Thanks. Lake Thanks for reading. Just a trial gimmick where the last word of a stanza leads into the next. A little silly, maybe. fdh Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lake Posted April 5, 2011 Share Posted April 5, 2011 Silly me, now I see. Thanks. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aleksandra Posted April 15, 2011 Share Posted April 15, 2011 I imagine a scene while I read this poem - watching into the coldness outside, and flowing in memories. I like the way you expressed this poem, and also like your choice of words. Well done. Aleksandra Quote The poet is a liar who always speaks the truth - Jean Cocteau History of Macedonia Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.