Benjamin Posted June 8, 2011 Share Posted June 8, 2011 white noise of people in a bar exotic smoke from dubious sources cool ale and sliding clicks of dominoes the clunk of darts missiles-- that fly through air make holes where yesterday there were no holes and glowing coals-- tomorrows grey dust on green hearth-tiles Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tonyv Posted June 8, 2011 Share Posted June 8, 2011 How cozy! There's a sense of time having passed (the holes that weren't there yesterday yet are today) that's offset by a sense of timelessness: the glowing coals which are not yet, but tomorrow will be, dust. Even the "white noise" of the people speaks toward transience. The same noise will be there tomorrow and the next day, but it can't ever be the exact same moment. A fantastic vignette! Tony Quote Here is a link to an index of my works on this site: tonyv's Member Archive topic Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frank E Gibbard Posted June 9, 2011 Share Posted June 9, 2011 Philosophical poetry of the inn(s) and outs of one of the finest things sweetly encapsulated, very much liked Geoff. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
badger11 Posted June 10, 2011 Share Posted June 10, 2011 A busy place/poem B., almost a nostalgic scene with some of the games activities and mention of coal, though the overall feel of the poem is melancholic with the shift from green to grey. I like the form. badge Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Benjamin Posted June 11, 2011 Author Share Posted June 11, 2011 Thanks Tony, Frank and Badge. It's funny how thought processes meander and digress with a drink alone by the fire. The most innocuous of things can suddenly prompt exteme thoughts. Pleased I only stayed for one, otherwise I might still be writing. :icon_sunny: Benjamin Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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