Jump to content
Poetry Magnum Opus

Return


summayya

Recommended Posts

Return

 

I remember being a slow child,

always getting the reds.

It was my elder sister who

led the way and I became

the angel. Flying everywhere

for the smaller bits

and pieces of stuff. My mom’s

friend smiled

her white teeth at me—

I was the angel.

 

And when my father came back

from work, we watched TV with God.

I thought we were salvaged.

Until the clouds gave way to the sun

and the rain dropped dead.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

A very interesting poem! It got me thinking! My take on this is of a child looking at life in a fantasy. Letting their imagination help them find their place in the world. I'm sorry if I'm way off on this one.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

goldenlangur

Hi summayya,

 

fader is right - the images certainly seem to suggest a child trying to make sense of her/his world. The contrasts in behaviour between the 'elder sister", perhaps a dare-devil and the more subdued "angel" narrator sets up a sense of conflict and tension. The child trying to live up to adult expectations. The image of the "white teeth" of the mother's friend's "smile" carries more than a hint of a forbidding and vigilant adult presence.

 

 

I wondered, perhaps wrongly, whether the "God" in reference to TV watching was an allusion to mythical episodes on the Asian TV network, which was compulsory family viewing for many youngsters? Here, the child enter s world of miraculous flying, healing, defeating of evil forces. But outside the screen, the world is more mundane and the dark ("clouds") often casts it shadows over light and life ("sun").

 

Not sure if my reading is off the mark too. But it's good to see you writing again. I hope your recent bout of Writer's block is now over.

 

goldenlangur

goldenlangur

 

 

Even a single enemy is too many and a thousand friends too few - Bhutanese saying.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Aleksandra

I agree with Fader and goldenlangur Summayya. This poem gives different imageries and thoughts, and have far sense.

 

Much enjoying. Thank you for posting again and keep writing

 

Aleksandra

The poet is a liar who always speaks the truth - Jean Cocteau

History of Macedonia

 

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

A very interesting poem! It got me thinking! My take on this is of a child looking at life in a fantasy. Letting their imagination help them find their place in the world. I'm sorry if I'm way off on this one.

 

 

 

Not at all my friend. We are all trying to find our place in the world...

 

Not sure how many of us succeed in doing so and who they are. But I wonder if they have some kind of mark that shows they succeeded..... just wondering....icon_scratch.png

 

Thanks fader icon_smile.gif

Link to comment
Share on other sites

fader is right - the images certainly seem to suggest a child trying to make sense of her/his world. The contrasts in behaviour between the 'elder sister", perhaps a dare-devil and the more subdued "angel" narrator sets up a sense of conflict and tension. The child trying to live up to adult expectations. The image of the "white teeth" of the mother's friend's "smile" carries more than a hint of a forbidding and vigilant adult presence.

 

It is so wonderful to have readers like Gl around! You are spot on here.

 

I wondered, perhaps wrongly, whether the "God" in reference to TV watching was an allusion to mythical episodes on the Asian TV network, which was compulsory family viewing for many youngsters? Here, the child enter s world of miraculous flying, healing, defeating of evil forces. But outside the screen, the world is more mundane and the dark ("clouds") often casts it shadows over light and life ("sun").

 

I guess you are referring to the Hindu mythological presentations on TV, though I am not sure? No this was not a reference to those specifically. It can, however, be given that heroic spirit edge to it. But I admit that I was not thinking on those lines.

 

I wonder, however, how many a times children idolize their parents or elders, worshiping them. And how gradually the gold on their gods fades away...

 

I am coming back on track. Thanks icon_smile.gif

 

That said many thanks for your review Gl. It is much appreciated. icon_smile.gif

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I agree with Fader and goldenlangur Summayya. This poem gives different imageries and thoughts, and have far sense.

 

Much enjoying. Thank you for posting again and keep writing

 

Aleksandra

 

Thanks for the read and comments sweet Sandre icon_smile.gif

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hi Summayya,

 

Initially I thought there was a hint of sibling rivalry below the surface of this poem, but then I came to the conclusion that there is no rivalry; the narrator seems to be at peace, and she accepts the way things are. Yes, she was the slow child, but she was also the angel. The love of the parents for the narrator is evident:

And when my father came back

from work, we watched TV with God.

The white-toothed smile is a fresh and powerful image.

 

Tony

Here is a link to an index of my works on this site: tonyv's Member Archive topic

Link to comment
Share on other sites

goldenlangur

Hello again summayya,

 

How poignant this thought :

 

summayya wrote:

 

I wonder, however, how many a times children idolize their parents or elders, worshiping them. And how gradually the gold on their gods fades away...

 

 

Demythologizing is one of the most painful aspects of life - to find that the reference point we held in our lives to make sense of our world and lives, is no longer ringed in an aura of awesome power and even goodness.

 

But to write of all such experiences is the very creed of a poet and I hope you will continue to explore the full potential of your newly energized voice.

 

 

goldenlangur

goldenlangur

 

 

Even a single enemy is too many and a thousand friends too few - Bhutanese saying.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hi Summayya,

 

Initially I thought there was a hint of sibling rivalry below the surface of this poem, but then I came to the conclusion that there is no rivalry; the narrator seems to be at peace, and she accepts the way things are. Yes, she was the slow child, but she was also the angel. The love of the parents for the narrator is evident:

And when my father came back

from work, we watched TV with God.

The white-toothed smile is a fresh and powerful image.

 

Tony

 

I am glad this one had some interest for you.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

goldenlangur wrote:

 

Hello again summayya,

 

 

Demythologizing is one of the most painful aspects of life - to find that the reference point we held in our lives to make sense of our world and lives, is no longer ringed in an aura of awesome power and even goodness.

 

How very true...I like how you mention goodness as well.

 

goldenlangur wrote:

 

But to write of all such experiences is the very creed of a poet and I hope you will continue to explore the full potential of your newly energized voice.

 

Thanks gl.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

By using this site, you agree to our Guidelines.