Jump to content
Poetry Magnum Opus

A monk


summayya

Recommended Posts

Poetry is coming back to me!! icon_biggrin.png

 

A monk

 

In the garden

the robin and the rose

carry my tale

on their wings.

 

Silently

the moon creeps up

and hangs on the naked wire.

A drop of moonlight

quivers

on its black arm

and utters not

one

syllable.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Lovely poem! The first lines of the second verse are especially imagistic--

summayya wrote:

 

Silently

the moon creeps up

and hangs on the naked wire.

A drop of moonlight

quivers

on its black arm...

What fresh expressions!

 

Tony

Here is a link to an index of my works on this site: tonyv's Member Archive topic

Link to post
Share on other sites
Aleksandra

Well done Summayya. I am glad that poetry is back to you. But remember that poetry is always in you / us so we are stopping to communicate with.

 

This poem is so nice written and with wonderful expressions.

This is beautiful imagery:

 

In the garden

the robin and the rose

carry my tale

on their wings.

The poet is a liar who always speaks the truth - Jean Cocteau

History of Macedonia

 

 

Link to post
Share on other sites

Thanks for the feedback. I am glad you liked the poem

Link to post
Share on other sites

summayya,

 

I enjoyed this immensely- a capture of the moment in life. Do I have to have a monk's mind to ... icon_smile.gif

 

Lake

Link to post
Share on other sites
goldenlangur

Hi summayya,

 

An ephemeral sense of reckoning in this poem - nature is imbued with the poet's yearnings and yet a shadow lurks casting doubt and hinting at loss and even betrayal:

 

summayya wrote:

....

A drop of moonlight

quivers

on its black arm

and utters not

one

syllable.

 

This might be totally off the mark but in terms of sonority, I wondered if :

 

and utters not

a single

syllable

 

might also work as an alternative?

 

 

Do ignore this suggestion if you feel your poem works as it stands.

 

 

But it's really wonderful to see you posting again.

 

 

goldenlangur

goldenlangur

 

 

Even a single enemy is too many and a thousand friends too few - Bhutanese saying.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Thanks Lake. I am glad you enjoyed this. icon_biggrin.png

 

Yes gl, It is good to be posting again. But I have been really dry now a days. Suddenly it seems that poet in me has got boring and died. Its very hard. I am struggling but I guess this is just a period and I hafta be patient.

 

As for your suggestion I did like how I had put the words and for now I will stick to them. But I have noted the suggestion and will look into it. (and perhaps I can use it another poem icon_wink.gificon_biggrin.pngicon_twisted.gif -- if I ever wirte again that is icon_rolleyes.gif )

Link to post
Share on other sites
goldenlangur

Hello again summayya,

 

You voice a dilemma that many of us experience time and again ( in my case, at least) and therefore I do have full sympathy:

 

summayya wrote:

 

But I have been really dry now a days. Suddenly it seems that poet in me has got boring and died. Its very hard. I am struggling but I guess this is just a period and I hafta be patient.

 

But just as how the high of inspiration comes and goes so will this dry, unproductive phase. And please ignore my suggestion - as a writer your instinct will guide you.

 

I hope your Muse returns for a longer sojourn,

 

goldenlangur

goldenlangur

 

 

Even a single enemy is too many and a thousand friends too few - Bhutanese saying.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

By using this site, you agree to our Guidelines.