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Poetry Magnum Opus

The old lady and the robin


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Asleep the robin saves his song the moon waits

observes the shaking breast and he listens

to the music in a dream that creates

the morning hymn as last moonlight glistens

an old lady hungry for some music feeds

one hungry bird and he sings for brown bread

tears fall from brown eyes one little bird leads

to memories that soothe his breast of red

shadows sing and memories on the wing

leave an old lady, as one bird tires, moon comes

and listens to music in two dreams swing

the robin opens his wings, distant moon hums

The little bird waits for his winter treat

his friend passed away her song is complete.

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Larsen M. Callirhoe

bravo. just amazing stuff eclipse. one of your best to date.i will stay a fan with numbers like this. i exalt you sir for awesome poem.

 

victor

Larsen M. Callirhoe

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David W. Parsley

Hi Barry, a nice venture into a time-honored form. I like the nuanced ethereal quality that infuses the piece, well suited to sonnet composition. More, please!

 

- Dave

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A practical parallel (by no means a ridiculous stretch) between the two finite, somehow connected lives that follows a logical progression from quatrains to concluding couplet. The moon is perfect padding (a nice touch), too.

 

Tony

Here is a link to an index of my works on this site: tonyv's Member Archive topic

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Larsen M. Callirhoe

i am or was a bird watcher till i ened up tearing my rear-end open then having to move into a nursing home sadly. every sunrise my favorite part of day, peaceful, quiet, the birds chirping rain or shine, and you staring at gods marvelousness domain. this poem is lyrical, it sings to me and yes it flows like cream singing to me in one tidal wave that engulfs my literary senses. yes one long sentence indeed. keep writing im a fan of poetry like this at its best.

 

victor

Larsen M. Callirhoe

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