Jump to content
Poetry Magnum Opus

Shadows


JoelJosol

Recommended Posts

At dawn, I stand upon this beach, recalling how

our friendship unraveled like a distant mountain

when its color shifts from grey to green.

 

But I fear, it's more like a shadow on these sands

as the day matures, just when your warmth

catches up with me like a lover's hand.

 

I know you are here despite an overcast

visiting my sky, vanishing our shadow.

"Words are not things, and yet they are not non-things either." - Ann Lauterbach

Link to post
Share on other sites
Aleksandra

How long I haven't enjoying a poetry Joel... Thank you for this wonderful write. Wonderful imageries, and expressions. The title I loved. I love how this poem starts and ends. Beautiful complete work. Lovely poetry composition.

 

Thank you for sharing Joel.

Much enjoyed

 

Aleksandra

The poet is a liar who always speaks the truth - Jean Cocteau

History of Macedonia

 

 

Link to post
Share on other sites

Thank you, Aleksandra. I've been busy with work lately. I am glad that I am able to write again.

"Words are not things, and yet they are not non-things either." - Ann Lauterbach

Link to post
Share on other sites
Aleksandra

I am glad to read again from you Joel. I have been busy too, so I am glad to read wonderful poetry by all of you.

 

Thanks my friend

 

Aleksandra

The poet is a liar who always speaks the truth - Jean Cocteau

History of Macedonia

 

 

Link to post
Share on other sites
goldenlangur

Hi JoelJosol,

 

 

Your poems of late have a contemplative tone and this one certainly is one of them. Love the way you use "shadow" here to suggest the poignance of parting and memories, particularly these lines:

 

 

JoelJosol wrote:

 

.... vanishing our shadow,

once clearly defined on these sands.

 

 

A small niggle " unraveled" seems a little odd in relation to "mountain". But I could have got the connection and your intent wrong. In which case do ignore this point.

 

 

goldenlangur

goldenlangur

 

 

Even a single enemy is too many and a thousand friends too few - Bhutanese saying.

Link to post
Share on other sites

GL, I was looking for a word that paints a progressive disclosure of detail. The only other word I had in mind was unveiling but is much farther to a mountain as diction.

"Words are not things, and yet they are not non-things either." - Ann Lauterbach

Link to post
Share on other sites

The two similes work well. At first you consider the mountain: it's shift from gray to green is simply beautiful. Then you liken the friendship to the beach and a shadow on its sands. This image is also beautiful, though it has a touch of sadness: shadows are gray, and the day is coming to an end. The sun's warmth "catches up" to the narrator at the eleventh hour, just as the sun gives way to the clouds.

 

Tony

Here is a link to an index of my works on this site: tonyv's Member Archive topic

Link to post
Share on other sites

Hi Tony, thanks for the reflection on the details.

"Words are not things, and yet they are not non-things either." - Ann Lauterbach

Link to post
Share on other sites
Larsen M. Callirhoe

hi joel,

 

the imagery is beautiful in this write. your diction flows in this one in my opinion. i love the reflection in the sand part and the touch about the mountain changing color shows the poets mood change in reflection. very nice.

 

larsen

Larsen M. Callirhoe

Link to post
Share on other sites

Thank you, too, Larsen. My beach vacation is providing me the material to write. I usually wake up around 5 am, to catch the blue cast of dawn, with my camera. And I keep on shooting until 7am, before the light gets harsh on the beach.

"Words are not things, and yet they are not non-things either." - Ann Lauterbach

Link to post
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

By using this site, you agree to our Guidelines.