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Poetry Magnum Opus

Hero


dr_con

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Hero

 

Its not when you stop the knife

or hold her after the fact

or when the rattle

has rung

 

And the snow falls around

crying so hard there is

no breath left

 

Or when I sacrificed everything

to make a few years more

not gallant illusions

that end

 

In emergency rooms

cold hallways

night regrets

 

But over a cup of tea counter

to a hummingbirds bright

or a gathering dark

just as it is.

Gate(less.thumb.png.dc23b19d2478d37a9f6fcdc563973026.pnghttps://conjurd.substack.com/welcome Come on over and check out my poetry substack y'all;-)

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David W. Parsley

Doc, the first two stanzas are good enough to make my neck and scalp tingle. I lost the sense of what was being proposed in the closing lines, but still like the texture of language and the images.

 

Thanks,

- Dave

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It's a wonderful, personal portrayal that puts me there with you, wanting to buy you tea or a quart of Jack Daniels. The personal agony seeps through the more than tough decisions and the loneliness after. Sorry if I misinterpreted or interfered.

Franklin

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This profound piece left me thinking that each individual's destiny is pre-ordained by their own ability. That whatever our function in life, whatever decisions there are to make, great or small; we touch and influence the lives of others in countless ways. Perhaps the only comprehensible means of dealing with such profusion is to find the time to enjoy simple things. :smile:

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Agree with Geoff, but the simplest things are so complicated.

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Words are missing ... transitions don't smoothly occur.

Pardon me, for I often like your poetry.

But ... in addition, this is NOT a sonnet!

Drown your sorrows in drink, by all means, but the real sorrows can swim

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I'm with Franklin on this one, Juris. It's compact and personal, and, as such, it's hard hitting.

 

I think the bit of ambiguity in the last verse is intentional ... and beneficial to the poem. It's almost as if the writer is holding back. He's gone far enough. Besides, by this time the heartfelt reader (and maybe the writer) is already crying and probably wouldn't be able to handle more. Even so, it's expressionistic and functions expressionistically.

 

Tony

Here is a link to an index of my works on this site: tonyv's Member Archive topic

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Thank you all- and I appreciate all the feed-back- even the criticism, because in a way this was written to undo the blockage so, I could write "Well of Memory"- It worked and WOM was written, so I'm glad it worked for some of you, and glad it was only a partial poem for the rest... Thank you all for playing with me;-)

Gate(less.thumb.png.dc23b19d2478d37a9f6fcdc563973026.pnghttps://conjurd.substack.com/welcome Come on over and check out my poetry substack y'all;-)

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