dcmarti1 Posted November 20, 2012 Share Posted November 20, 2012 "Ades" Stiilis Bina (2 love poems for Joe D.) Aubade Cleaving half the horizon, the morning sun cuts across the eyelid of the earth, and in a forever-moment the earth is outside of now: not dawn, not morning. Yet I'd crave You, my morning; You, my earth. Serenade Shuttering up the horizon, the night throes – heavy blanket on the face of earth, regardless of the weather on the earth. Yet shroud me with Your fibrous self this night and I'd succumb: You, my night; You, my earth. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Larsen M. Callirhoe Posted November 20, 2012 Share Posted November 20, 2012 Marti you are very good at the craft with these short poems. something i aspire to but i overkill it sometimes. :) Victor Quote Larsen M. Callirhoe Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tinker Posted November 20, 2012 Share Posted November 20, 2012 Wow! Oh I want to use these in the reference section. Marti, you use the verse form Bina to write in 2 thematic genres Aubade & Serenade and yet create a whole which marries all 3. Awesome! And the poem is beautiful. ~~Tink Quote ~~ © ~~ Poems by Judi Van Gorder ~~ For permission to use this work you can write to Tinker1111@icloud.com Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dcmarti1 Posted November 20, 2012 Author Share Posted November 20, 2012 Thanks, Victor and Tink. Whoever said that unrequited love could not be productive? I will edit the topic's box and put in the full name of the poem (yes, the two parts together): Ades Stiilis Bina. Estonian for "Ades in the style of bina". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tonyv Posted November 20, 2012 Share Posted November 20, 2012 Oh, these are beautiful, Marti. I love how you capture the moments, the morning-not-yet-morning, the evening-not-yet-night, the "inbetween-ness." There's anxiety, there's patience, there's desire, lust, and love. Captivating and very much to my taste, I love these poems. Tony Quote Here is a link to an index of my works on this site: tonyv's Member Archive topic Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
badger11 Posted November 20, 2012 Share Posted November 20, 2012 Cleaving half the horizon, the morningsun cuts across the eyelid of the earth, and in a forever-moment the earth is outside of now: not dawn, not morning. Yet I'd crave You, my morning; You, my earth. cleave/crave - love that sound thread - crave in particular conveys the appetite 'the eyelid of the earth' - is good, but becomes fab the way the image is opened up into the reader's mind by what's gone before I found the repetitions bound the poem into the tight knot of emotion. excellent badge Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dcmarti1 Posted November 21, 2012 Author Share Posted November 21, 2012 And thank you, Tony and Badge. The cleave/crave was luck. I was more concerned with simple alliteration: cut/cleave/crave and shutter/shroud/succumb. The inventor of the Bina (Bob Newman?) is to be congratulated. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
David W. Parsley Posted November 22, 2012 Share Posted November 22, 2012 "Ades" Stiilis Bina Cleaving half the horizon, the morning sun cuts across the eyelid of the earth, and in a forever-moment the earth is outside of now: Lovely lyricism, dc. And the synthesis of form(s)! Then, too, add me to the list of admirers for fused image of sun and sight. The immediacy, acute desire, the absorption in the Other: the essence of poetry. You've got my attention. - Dave Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eclipse Posted November 23, 2012 Share Posted November 23, 2012 I can only echo the above-lovely work Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Benjamin Posted November 29, 2012 Share Posted November 29, 2012 Aesthetically pleasing and almost musical when read aloud. Excellent work. Benjamin Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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