Jump to content
Poetry Magnum Opus

threads


eclipse

Recommended Posts

I watched you dismantle a clock
looking for God's heartbeat
in the cogs and springs.

Some nights you would sleep on the streets,
stitching and unstitching stars
searching for the index of creation.

I waited and observed a spider
finishing a web, netting the moon.
He swayed in the rigging, satisfied

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

searching for the index of creation.

Oh, my! I appreciate that on SO many levels: one being the fact that a former job of mine was 100% procedural with databases that this THEOLOGY meshes right with METHODOLOGY. Amazing piece all around.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Larsen M. Callirhoe

Hi Eclipse the methodology and theology like marti stated above is sweet and meshes very well in your piece. The alliteration and rhythm makes for a fast paced upbeat tempo read. The transition from one stanza to the next flows smoothly like the words flowing from a creek. Nicely written imho.

 

victor

Larsen M. Callirhoe

Link to comment
Share on other sites

A well constructed all embracing piece which prompts theological aspects; I'm reminded of the words: “We believe because we want to believe.. In gods.. because that dulls the fear of death.. In love.. because it enhances the notion of life.”

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Excellent poetry!

I don't see this as theological, rather to the contrary.

There is power here, even defiant power.

This is pretty much an in-your-face poem.

I like that kind of daring.

But maybe you meant something else.

I would prefer you keep that to yourself.

 

 

'keeper

from the black desert

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Excellent poetry!

I don't see this as theological, rather to the contrary.

There is power here, even defiant power.

This is pretty much an in-your-face poem.

I like that kind of daring.

But maybe you meant something else.

I would prefer you keep that to yourself.

 

 

'keeper

Oh, but gate, theology IS defiance. Those old, nasty, Latin America, Marxist-accommodating, RAND Corp hating priests said, "God is the subverter of the status quo!" Brilliant. :)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

breathtakingly perfect. Really one of my favorite of yours, the tiny detail, the nameless carried POV from stanza to stanza. Really enjoyed!

 

Con/Jur/D

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 3 weeks later...
David W. Parsley

So this is what the sorcerer does when he is not in the sonnet laboratory! This is your best miniature (if your cosmic pieces can be characterized so) since sea shell IMHO. Legacy quality piece and one of MY favorites, too!

 

Thanks Barry,

- Dave

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

By using this site, you agree to our Guidelines.