Larsen M. Callirhoe Posted May 17, 2009 Share Posted May 17, 2009 To The Sound Of The Pouring Rain Don’t you know it is raining outside. The storm is brewing and distantly cold. I hear the rain falling to the ground. I feel the thunder beating like my heart. I see the lightning strike the ground you walk on. Don’t you know you are my beloved rose. To the sound of music the rain falls quietly. From my heart to yours I can honestly say I love you. I hear the rain falling to the ground. The distant thunder echoes in my heart. The lightning strikes a tree next to a lake and catches fire like my flame for you. Next door my neighbor is having a musical jam. The drums are being pounded on by his friend. He is playing the playing the piano and singing the melody. Another buddy is playing the trumpet. Oh how the song they are rehearsing reminds me of you. Don’t you know it is raining outside. The tears of my eyes are like the raindrops that touch the ground. The flowers are wet. The scent comes from the garden you planted in my back yard. A longtime ago you said I do. You have since left me to be all alone. Why did you have to be so cold? My heart is beating it is bleeding in the wind. The blood fills the rivers of your life. My soul is drowning without you by my side. I pray to find someone new my old lover Joyce. Elizabeth came in my life like a fading dream in the night. Elizabeth is like a Goddess to me. She is the Angel that sings to my heart in my dreams. Don’t you know it is pouring outside. Don’t you know the raindrops are really my teardrops falling from my eyes. I will only smile when you Elizabeth are by my side once again. I hear the thunder echoing like my heart is beating. To the sound of music being played next door Elizabeth and I make love. It is our wedding night, Our honeymoon is at a hotel along the shore of the beach. I caress your bodies curves as the waves touch you and your life. We notice the celestial storm brewing off the coast. I tell Elizabeth about how I have moved on and I no longer want Joyce as my lover. You see Elizabeth I wanted you all along to be by my side. God gave me a vision of you to cherish all my life. Before you were born your spirit said to me “I love you.” Don’t you know before the sun did rise. I dreamed of you at night. In this memory of you, you were not cold and distant like the storm that is brewing outside, Don’t you know the rain is pouring outside. As we make love the echoing sound of the thunder is in tune with our hearts. The lightning strikes the passion of our soul. I wake up from this dream knowing Elizabeth will one day become reality in my life. . Quote Larsen M. Callirhoe Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tonyv Posted May 17, 2009 Share Posted May 17, 2009 Hi Victor, You use the right amount of repetition of both word and idea throughout this poem. Refrains like I hear the rain falling to the ground are supplemented with variations, like Don’t you know it is raining outside? and The tears of my eyes/are like the raindrops that touch the ground. This technique amplifies the mood of the poem. Here are a few of my favorite parts -- The lightning strikes a tree next to a lake ... Oh how the song they are rehearsing reminds me of you ... The flowers are wet. The scent comes from the garden you planted in my back yard ... From my heart to yours I can honestly say I love you ... and It is our wedding night, Our honeymoon is at a hotel along the shore of the beach. Good title, too. It caught my attention right away. Tony Quote Here is a link to an index of my works on this site: tonyv's Member Archive topic Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Larsen M. Callirhoe Posted May 17, 2009 Author Share Posted May 17, 2009 thanks tony for the comments on this one. the part about the musical jam someone on poetry connection said it didn't need to be in the poem. i was trying to paint a picture a certain way in my poem. glad you saw it and my word play with the concept of rain, raining and storm. i might change this a little bit to make it tie together better but i might not post it. god i wish i was healthy and rich. i would go after the actress Lindsey lohan. she is my style completely. but that is another story. i was watching entertainment tonight and they talked about her on the show at 5 o'clock est. victor Quote Larsen M. Callirhoe Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aleksandra Posted May 17, 2009 Share Posted May 17, 2009 Victor, what a lovely poem. So poetical and musical. And it sounds like a musical jam. You use here a lot of wonderful expressions, what I loved: The tears of my eyes are like the raindrops that touch the ground. and one of them is my favorite and it is right for my taste: The blood fills the rivers of your life. That line is amazing and perfect, strong, powerful, deep I love this poem my dear friend. And somehow I can notice that the style is little bit changed, use are playing with a lot of wonderful expressions, and the imageries are like always, romantic and lovely. Much enjoyed with this poem Vic Aleksandra Quote The poet is a liar who always speaks the truth - Jean Cocteau History of Macedonia Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bloodyday Posted May 17, 2009 Share Posted May 17, 2009 "Don’t you know you are my beloved rose." ya this is the lips which are red and so beautiful that i wish i could draw a kiss and smile so mild! "catches fire like my flame for you." what will be the aftermath, i don't know. wish my love is true which might ignite your desire for me and wish this might hold us together forever! "The tears of my eyes are like the raindrops that touch the ground. The flowers are wet." i don't know where you are and how you are perhaps you are happy and don't know how i am. do you know my tears are swept away by the raindrops and my flowers become wet fading their colors. i still wish you would come and ..... i also dream like the rest of the stanzas of your dreams for me, but fortunate people like you can achieve this dream, not me and should write this way forever! nice poem! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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