Larsen M. Callirhoe Posted May 19, 2009 Share Posted May 19, 2009 Much more then words She smiles and says I Love you I need more than a vision on my breath to say i love you. what I need is your heart close to mine beating as one with mine. The words you say to me are fading faster then a shooting star. Oh how the day we first met. The sparks flew through the air than. Time will tell if we are to last just more than one day. She smiles and says to my heart and says everything will be more than okay. I need more change for the juke-box to play our favorite tune. One more night sailing on the ocean without life-vests is testing our faith in one another. I would lite a fire but this wood we have is water logged. I want to dance this summer siesta with you, but my dreams are fading like the fast approaching storm. I want to make love to you under the stars. Quote Larsen M. Callirhoe Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tonyv Posted May 19, 2009 Share Posted May 19, 2009 A myriad of complex emotions pervades this poem. The narrator needs more than words from the relationship: She smiles and says I Love you I need more then a vision on my breath to say i love you. what I need is your heart close to mine beating as one with mine. The words you say to me are fading faster then a shooting star. Nevertheless, there is something magical about it: Oh how the day we first met. The sparks flew through the air then. I like how you keep it real -- I need more change for the juke-box to play our favorite tune. One more night sailing on the ocean without life-vests is testing our faith in one another. I would lite a fire but this wood we have is water logged. I want to dance this summer siesta with you, but my dreams are fading like the fast approaching storm, -- and you finish it with a dose of humanity: I want to make love to you under the stars. What more can one say? Tony Quote Here is a link to an index of my works on this site: tonyv's Member Archive topic Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aleksandra Posted May 19, 2009 Share Posted May 19, 2009 Yes Tony , what more can one say... Victor passionate, emotional poem, melancholic. This poem is wonderful written and in your well known way my friend. Much enjoyed reading this poem, and the title is so nice too. Aleksandra Quote The poet is a liar who always speaks the truth - Jean Cocteau History of Macedonia Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
goldenlangur Posted May 19, 2009 Share Posted May 19, 2009 Hello vic, Always, there's this indescribable longing in your work which is so poignant, all the more so, because the beauty of the landscape, the night sky and the sea, seem laden with this yearning and yet as you close your poem you make it clear that it is an eliding of dreams and longing rather than an actual present experience. This is what makes you poem so moving: "She smiles and says I Love you I need more then a vision on my breath to say i love you. what I need is your heart close to mine beating as one with mine." Also: "One more night sailing on the ocean without life-vests is testing our faith in one another. " And here the detail, 'water-logged',l conveys that hiatus between the poet's desire and the disappointment: "I would lite a fire but this wood we have is water logged." And this too: "The words you say to me are fading faster then a shooting star." Beautiful! goldenlangur Quote goldenlangur Even a single enemy is too many and a thousand friends too few - Bhutanese saying. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lake Posted May 19, 2009 Share Posted May 19, 2009 Larsen, You are good at expressing your feelings. Yes, true love is much much more than words,or even without a word. I love the word "siesta". Just learned this from you. One minor from me: I think in some lines, "then" should be "than". Thanks for the read. And enjoyed your discussion with Golden on the new president. Best, Lake Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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