badger11 Posted May 19, 2009 Share Posted May 19, 2009 I'm trying for a nap, but a missel thrush is hammering a shell against the picket fence. Reminds me that the garden needs a tree, an apple tree, for the boys to climb. I’m trying for a nap, but the sizzle of egg n’ bacon drifts me back from dreaming out to sea. Reminds me that the garden needs a tree, an apple tree, for you and me to climb. I’ve trying for a nap, but the time's now ripe and the axe no longer idles by the apple tree. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tonyv Posted May 19, 2009 Share Posted May 19, 2009 Badge, somehow the elements in this poem -- the missel thrush, the shell, the apple tree, and even the nap! -- remind me of my favorite poet James Wright and his poems "At Peace with the Ocean off Misquamicut" and "Lying in a Hammock at William Duffy's Farm in Pine Island, Minnesota." Other aspects of the poem like the length, the title, and the linebreaks make me think of his verse, in general. I like how you leave certain things up to the reader: I’ve trying for a nap, but the time's now ripe and the axe no longer idles by the apple tree. The passage of time? Or something more sinister, like when one has "an axe to grind"? I, myself, am leaning toward the passage of time ... Tony Quote Here is a link to an index of my works on this site: tonyv's Member Archive topic Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
badger11 Posted May 19, 2009 Author Share Posted May 19, 2009 Thanks Tony. I'm pleased there is a hint of James Wright in this poem, though this was unconscious, I can see some of the influences were undoubtedly there. Of course, I'm indebted to you for that For once I did leave the end open for the reader, though if it was 'sinsister' the outcome would be symbolic rather than actual. Hope all is well with you. badge Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aleksandra Posted May 19, 2009 Share Posted May 19, 2009 Wow, this is universal poem badge, my friend. Yes this poem is very open, but very nostalgic, also. It's seen the anxiety, what doesn't give you to sleep or to nap. But not only the nostalgic and the memories are provoking the insomnia, but I can feel that there is something like incompleteness, that the narrator never did, and it's not done yet. And that feeling gives more deepness and reason more, to go back in the past I felt that in this line and expression in repetition: the garden needs a tree, an apple tree, Maybe I am far away from the real meaning of this poem, but thats why I love the poetry, because gives a wide open world Thank you for this characteristic poem badge Aleksandra Quote The poet is a liar who always speaks the truth - Jean Cocteau History of Macedonia Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
badger11 Posted May 19, 2009 Author Share Posted May 19, 2009 A lovely reply Aleks, full of insight, you definitely have a feel for the poetry of English. Hope all is well with you badge Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aleksandra Posted May 19, 2009 Share Posted May 19, 2009 A lovely reply Aleks, full of insight, you definitely have a feel for the poetry of English. Hope all is well with you badge Thank you badge, for your words That feels so good . I am glad if you really think that, that I have a feel for the poetry in English I am trying to learn But reading beautiful poetry around, makes me want to learn more and more Thank you my friend Alek Quote The poet is a liar who always speaks the truth - Jean Cocteau History of Macedonia Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frank E Gibbard Posted May 19, 2009 Share Posted May 19, 2009 A lovely mix in this one BADGER between the natural continuum and the mundane interventions of domestic demands. Frank Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
goldenlangur Posted May 19, 2009 Share Posted May 19, 2009 Hi badge, Found this little gem of yours. Your poems always remind me of Eliot's words, that in poetry it's not just the conscious meaning one absorbs but the magic of cadences and sound patterns. I love the echoing rhymes in: missel, shell, tree, sea, me Also love your use of concrete images : missel thrush, apple tree, picket fence, the axe, just to pick a few examples. These give a vivid sense of place and seasonal reference. As for that elusive, conscious meaning - I wondered if it is a juxtaposition of personal/individual desire and the more mundane, social, familial 'things to do'. So your closure while drastic seems quite well built up. Your use of repetitive lines made me wonder if it is a specific form you've used but I remain clueless as to what it is! goldenlangur Quote goldenlangur Even a single enemy is too many and a thousand friends too few - Bhutanese saying. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Billydo Posted May 19, 2009 Share Posted May 19, 2009 Hi Badge Have read this before - always good to read again. A little late summer idyll sans spiders and pine and a hint of threat. Lovely. Cheers Mike Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
douglas Posted May 19, 2009 Share Posted May 19, 2009 i enjoyed the rhythm and pace of this poem. it flows like a stream of consciousness; the unfurling of the mind as one begins falling into sleep - thoughts merge and dance in circles, things connect, disconnect... very nice poem. thank you my long lost friend... Quote To receive love, you have to give it... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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