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Poetry Magnum Opus

While spiders spin their webs beneath the silent pine...


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I'm trying for a nap, but

a missel thrush is hammering a shell

against the picket fence.

 

Reminds me that

the garden needs a tree, an apple tree,

for the boys to climb.

 

I’m trying for a nap, but

the sizzle of egg n’ bacon drifts me back

from dreaming out to sea.

 

Reminds me that

the garden needs a tree, an apple tree,

for you and me to climb.

 

I’ve trying for a nap, but

the time's now ripe and the axe no longer

idles by the apple tree.

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Badge, somehow the elements in this poem -- the missel thrush, the shell, the apple tree, and even the nap! -- remind me of my favorite poet James Wright and his poems "At Peace with the Ocean off Misquamicut" and "Lying in a Hammock at William Duffy's Farm in Pine Island, Minnesota." Other aspects of the poem like the length, the title, and the linebreaks make me think of his verse, in general.

 

I like how you leave certain things up to the reader:

I’ve trying for a nap, but

the time's now ripe and the axe no longer

idles by the apple tree.

The passage of time? Or something more sinister, like when one has "an axe to grind"? I, myself, am leaning toward the passage of time ...

 

Tony icon_smile.gif

Here is a link to an index of my works on this site: tonyv's Member Archive topic

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Thanks Tony. I'm pleased there is a hint of James Wright in this poem, though this was unconscious, I can see some of the influences were undoubtedly there. Of course, I'm indebted to you for that icon_biggrin.png

 

For once I did leave the end open for the reader, though if it was 'sinsister' the outcome would be symbolic rather than actual.

 

Hope all is well with you.

 

badge icon_biggrin.png

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Aleksandra

Wow, this is universal poem badge, my friend. Yes this poem is very open, but very nostalgic, also. It's seen the anxiety, what doesn't give you to sleep or to nap. But not only the nostalgic and the memories are provoking the insomnia, but I can feel that there is something like incompleteness, that the narrator never did, and it's not done yet. And that feeling gives more deepness and reason more, to go back in the past

 

I felt that in this line and expression in repetition:

 

the garden needs a tree, an apple tree,

 

Maybe I am far away from the real meaning of this poem, but thats why I love the poetry, because gives a wide open world icon_smile.gif

 

Thank you for this characteristic poem badge

 

Aleksandra

The poet is a liar who always speaks the truth - Jean Cocteau

History of Macedonia

 

 

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A lovely reply Aleks, full of insight, you definitely have a feel for the poetry of English.

 

Hope all is well with you

 

badge 98389.gif

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Aleksandra
A lovely reply Aleks, full of insight, you definitely have a feel for the poetry of English.

 

Hope all is well with you

 

badge 98389.gif

 

Thank you badge, for your words icon_smile.gif That feels so good icon_cool.gif.

I am glad if you really think that, that I have a feel for the poetry in English icon_smile.gif I am trying to learn icon_rolleyes.gificon_smile.gif

But reading beautiful poetry around, makes me want to learn more and more

 

Thank you my friend

 

Alek

The poet is a liar who always speaks the truth - Jean Cocteau

History of Macedonia

 

 

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Frank E Gibbard

A lovely mix in this one BADGER between the natural continuum and the mundane interventions of domestic demands. Frank

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goldenlangur

Hi badge,

 

Found this little gem of yours. Your poems always remind me of Eliot's words, that in poetry it's not just the conscious meaning one absorbs but the magic of cadences and sound patterns. I love the echoing rhymes in:

missel, shell, tree, sea, me

 

Also love your use of concrete images :

 

missel thrush, apple tree, picket fence, the axe,

just to pick a few examples. These give a vivid sense of place and seasonal reference.

 

As for that elusive, conscious meaning - I wondered if it is a juxtaposition of personal/individual desire and the more mundane, social, familial 'things to do'.

 

So your closure while drastic seems quite well built up.

 

Your use of repetitive lines made me wonder if it is a specific form you've used but I remain clueless as to what it is!

 

goldenlangur

goldenlangur

 

 

Even a single enemy is too many and a thousand friends too few - Bhutanese saying.

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Hi Badge

 

Have read this before - always good to read again. A little late summer idyll sans spiders and pine and a hint of threat.

 

Lovely.

 

Cheers

 

Mike

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i enjoyed the rhythm and pace of this poem. it flows like a stream of consciousness; the unfurling of the mind as one begins falling into sleep - thoughts merge and dance in circles, things connect, disconnect...

 

very nice poem. thank you my long lost friend... icon_biggrin.png

To receive love, you have to give it...

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