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Poetry Magnum Opus

Running Along the Shore - Lake Macquarie, NSW, Australia


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there was a fine mist

it descended like a silver-grey veil

tumbling softly toward

the aquamarine restlessness of the lake

 

and i was racing through the trees

and undergrowth beside the shore

enveloped by oxygen and the sounds

of waves, rain, wind, dancing leaves

and my breath

 

i was aware of the air

 

how it was inspiring and affecting

everything

as the early evening swept down

like soft grey silk

 

then the edge of the lake

crunching underfoot

 

the delicate views

across the watery expanse

as my perspective changed and transformed

 

suddenly i was not alone

 

i became an aspect of all that was around me

 

and it watched me quietly

through the eyes

of a pelican

floating upon the water.

To receive love, you have to give it...

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Aleksandra

Hi my dear Douglas, how nice to see you again. After I google this lake, it was clear for me, how you wrote wonderful poem like this one. The lake speaks and you can only manage the words on a paper. The poem is so vivid, and rich with wonderful imageries.

I loved this very peaceful poem Doug.

 

Thank you for sharing with us.

 

Aleksandra

The poet is a liar who always speaks the truth - Jean Cocteau

History of Macedonia

 

 

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goldenlangur

Hello douglas,

 

This beautifully imaged poem has a wonderful sense of the poet being immersed in a moment, where he is tuned to the sounds, light, movement in the landscape. The link between the ethereal 'fine mist' and the 'watery expanse' is a lovely detail. The sudden appearance of the 'pelican' which briefly disrupts the poet's contemplation but seems to have a kindred spirit of solitude is wonderfully brought out.

 

 

Enjoyed this very much. icon_smile.gif

 

 

 

 

 

goldenlangur

goldenlangur

 

 

Even a single enemy is too many and a thousand friends too few - Bhutanese saying.

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What a fine work, Douglas. Too many good parts to mention them all (I'd be quoting the whole thing), but I especially love the mention of oxygen and how you were "aware of the air."

 

Throughout the whole poem it remains clear that the narrator is acutely in tune with his surroundings. Here's a memorable example:

then the edge of the lake

crunching underfoot

I also like the title and its local reference a lot. It captures the moment and makes it a reality for the reader.

 

Tony

Here is a link to an index of my works on this site: tonyv's Member Archive topic

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Aleksandra

douglas wrote:

 

Thank you very, very much Tony!
icon_wink.gif

 

Hey Doug, thanks goes only for Tony? icon_eek.gif

 

Hey ... what am i, chopped liver??? icon_mad.gif

 

 

icon_biggrin.png

Nice to see you Doug icon_wink.gif

 

Aleksandra

The poet is a liar who always speaks the truth - Jean Cocteau

History of Macedonia

 

 

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sorry! and to everyone else too - i was just quickly responding and did not realize that i left you all out! sorry! icon_biggrin.png

To receive love, you have to give it...

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  • 2 years later...
Larsen M. Callirhoe

WOWW DOUGLAS I LOVE AMETUER POETRY. your poem is exquisite like fine wine. i love the flow of your words and description of the beauty of this lake like you described to its best me thinks. but you could never describe it in less then a zillion words. think you captured the essence very well dear poetry cybernet amigo.

 

 

 

much enjoyed.

 

victor

Larsen M. Callirhoe

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David W. Parsley

Thanks to Victor for bringing this forward. A nice experience.

 

- Dave

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