Jump to content
Poetry Magnum Opus

Dream Home


Lake

Recommended Posts

Dream Home

 

Every time

when I drive by

the mansion ( as I so call it )

on County Road B2,

I can’t help turning

my head to admire it –

red bricks green tiles

well maintained landscaping

and the Stars and Spangled Banner

proudly fluttering high

in the wind.

Then I contemplate

the residents inside since

there's never been a single person

in sight.

Would I still be obsessed

with the house if I owned it?

 

 

(This a prompt seven-minute write, pretty bland I'm afraid. )

Link to post
Share on other sites

I disagree on the blandness. Enjoyed very much, a naturalist observational perfection. Interesting choice of details, and a unique panorama with the appropriate personal touch icon_biggrin.png

 

dc

Gate(less.thumb.png.dc23b19d2478d37a9f6fcdc563973026.pnghttps://conjurd.substack.com/welcome Come on over and check out my poetry substack y'all;-)

Link to post
Share on other sites

I agree with Dr. Con. This isn't bland, rather it has concrete imagery supplemented by speculation that flirts with the philosophical.

 

Though the meticulous upkeep of the place indicates a level of obsession, I like how the poem leaves open the question whether or not the residents are actually home:

Then I contemplate

the residents inside since

there's never been a single person

in sight.

There's no one in sight. Perhaps they are always at home ("inside") (the American dream icon_smile.gif ) ... or perhaps they're always at work (the American nightmare icon_mad.gif ). I picture the likelihood of either scenario like this: 40% they're inside; 60% they're at work.

 

Tony

Here is a link to an index of my works on this site: tonyv's Member Archive topic

Link to post
Share on other sites

I like it!

 

I have a friend who repeats himself

 

he repeats himself a lot

 

he repeats himself often

 

he repeats himself over

 

and over

 

he repeats himself

 

if you know what I mean...

 

anyway, everytime we pass by this house on a hill, one that your poem reminds me of, he says "I wonder if the folks who own that are as ostentatious as their house lends them to being?"

 

and when I hear that from him, each time I hear that from him... I can see myself repeating myself now... because now its ME that says to myself "no you idiot, the ostentatious one is the one who says that EVERY TIME he sees it!"

 

Im NOT saying this applies to you Lake- Im saying exactly that this applies to ME- whenever I see something over and over again, in my friend, or in a house by the side of the road, its ME that sees the same thing- it has nothing to do with what Im looking at...

 

your poem was a perfect reminder of this for me... I like it!

 

the title "dream home" and your last line, its perfect for this thing in me, and for the way I meet my friend who repeats and repeats and repeats himself! icon_biggrin.png

Link to post
Share on other sites

Thanks everyone. Glad to know there's something in it you like.

 

dr_con - I'm pleased to read your comment of a unique panorama with the appropriate personal touch. Thank you for your kind words.

 

tony - or perhaps they're always at work, agreed. How could they manage to pay for the house? But if they do as what you said "always at work", then what's the point of owning the house with no time to enjoy?

 

rumisong - that's the most interesting reply I've received. Glad you can make some association. I have to admit that applies to me, too. icon_redface.gif I repeat watching it, I repeat wondering what kind of people living in it, I repeat thinking how they make the payment....

 

Once again, thanks for your approval.

 

Lake

Link to post
Share on other sites

Lake wrote:

 

tony -
or perhaps they're always at work
, agreed. How could they manage to pay for the house? But if they do as what you said "always at work", then what's the point of owning the house with no time to enjoy?

And these days they can be always at work and still unable to pay for it. There's some real lack of enjoyment ...

 

Tony

Here is a link to an index of my works on this site: tonyv's Member Archive topic

Link to post
Share on other sites

Lake

 

 

I will buy it for you!

 

 

you impressed me....simply you impressed me, my frnd, though i have no money now to have a birthday celebration for my tiny sis!

 

but one day i will buy it for you just like i always promise to my sis and everyone else lol.gif

Link to post
Share on other sites
Aleksandra

Wonderful poem Lake.

Your dream / wish is well expressed and also the wondering what it will happen if you own that house. You can enjoy in that case, but who knows for how long. Because always we long for something what we don't have, and when we have finally, we start to long for something new one :D.

 

Interesting poem. I loved this one.

 

Aleksandra

The poet is a liar who always speaks the truth - Jean Cocteau

History of Macedonia

 

 

Link to post
Share on other sites

Tony wrote:

 

There's some real lack of enjoyment ...

 

Yes, this is another question.

 

Rony, thanks for your generosity. I'll buy a birthday gift for your sister and you buy me a dream house. Good deal!:lol:

 

Aleksandra wrote:

 

the wondering what it will happen if you own that house. Because always we long for something what we don't have, and when we have finally, we start to long for something new one :D.

 

Spot on Alex. That applies to a lot of things, so true.

 

Thanks everyone.

 

Lake

Link to post
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

By using this site, you agree to our Guidelines.