Bloodyday Posted May 21, 2009 Share Posted May 21, 2009 Hey! Look into my eyes Watch how a heart deprives And cries for the love For which a life lives Staring at your smile Became not only the joy But also something I don’t know Love is not so easy Just like the celebration with The candle-light dinner Or like the funny act to Cease your anger Or like the whole night talk In phone using the cheapest operator But it’s something else Like the sleeps lost forever Remembering your face Or like losing my rhythms in guitar While watching you walk Or feel like the spark While my name you suddenly call Beyond definition Beyond intuition This is the feelings for which I want to pass my rest I know I am nothing without You, I won’t be best So please take the insurance premium And save my job You are the target to fulfill And at least give me a hope! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aleksandra Posted May 21, 2009 Share Posted May 21, 2009 Bloodyday, nice to see you around and with new poems ;). Next time when you post a poem, post it after your comments so your poem won't be pushed down by you :). You worked so much and with that you made me to work now also :), because I couldn't leave your poem at the bottom, or to miss some poem to comment on Back to the poem. I like this one Rony. It is so well written and have some interesting tone. I love the beginning. It is so special and informative, and goes good with your interesting tittle: Hey! Look into my eyes Watch how a heart deprives And cries for the love For which a life lives Staring at your smile Became not only the joy But also something I don’t know Much enjoyed Rony. Aleksandra Quote The poet is a liar who always speaks the truth - Jean Cocteau History of Macedonia Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JoelJosol Posted May 21, 2009 Share Posted May 21, 2009 The heart aches. It is written clearly stanza after stanza. Quote "Words are not things, and yet they are not non-things either." - Ann Lauterbach Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lake Posted May 21, 2009 Share Posted May 21, 2009 Hey! Rony! It is definitely an emotionally charged poem, no doubt. I wonder if it'll take anything away if "Hey!" is removed. Because I thought "Hey" sounds pretty casual, but hey, that's your style. There are lots of new things in your poem, words like "using the cheapest operator", "take the insurance premium" etc really inject some freshness in the content of your poem. I really like it. Lake Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bloodyday Posted May 21, 2009 Author Share Posted May 21, 2009 thanks everybody! now-a-days i couldn't have much time to sit in a chair for couple of minutes though my works is not laborious but i think i am familiar with jack of all trade so much! i have made up myself while i was in a boring meeting. a presentation was not so successful and my boss was thinking about my position. but when i cooked up this poem, it made me happy! Thanks everybody: Alek, Lake, Joel! I think Joel needs Dr_con for his aches! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tonyv Posted May 21, 2009 Share Posted May 21, 2009 Rony, I love this poem, especially these parts: Staring at your smile Became not only the joy But also something I don’t know Love is not so easy Just like the celebration with The candle-light dinner Or like the funny act to Cease your anger Or like the whole night talk In phone using the cheapest operator But it’s something else Like the sleeps lost forever Remembering your face Or like losing my rhythms in guitar While watching you walk Or feel like the spark While my name you suddenly call ... I know I am nothing without You ... Reading them is like listening to my favorite vocal trance mixes. Tony Quote Here is a link to an index of my works on this site: tonyv's Member Archive topic Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bloodyday Posted May 21, 2009 Author Share Posted May 21, 2009 Hmm...and i loved the music of you tube and thanks for your comment! if anyone want to chat, then please add me: 1) reichstag_bond@yahoo.com 2) nt_eee@yahoo.com i am passing most of the time in chat roooms! what should i do, dude? i need to pass my times! thanks again! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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