poetjohncompton Posted January 8, 2020 Share Posted January 8, 2020 my mother is dying (i prepare myself) & not in the pretend way i write, occasionally, when she was a functioning alcoholic, or when it made a poem more interesting. my mother is dying. her kidneys rebelling, becoming cirrhosis. she sits in front of me, relays the information with easy memorized lines. she is used to the idea of dying. death has loomed inside her for years now, hibernating, waiting for spring, to wake & fatten Quote https://www.facebook.com/poetjohncompton Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dr_con Posted January 9, 2020 Share Posted January 9, 2020 Powerful and yet with a poignant detachment, much like 'The News' although it burns it slips away into the expected. Juris Quote thegateless.org Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
badger11 Posted January 10, 2020 Share Posted January 10, 2020 A powerful, heartfelt write that will connect to many readers. best Phil Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tonyv Posted January 13, 2020 Share Posted January 13, 2020 I don't even want to think about it, and I can barely read this. The poem's power springs from its ever-so-slight sense of detachment. Tony Quote Here is a link to an index of my works on this site: tonyv's Member Archive topic Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dcmarti1 Posted January 13, 2020 Share Posted January 13, 2020 Death as Spring, awakening and fattening. Phenom. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poetjohncompton Posted January 14, 2020 Author Share Posted January 14, 2020 On 1/9/2020 at 7:41 AM, dr_con said: Powerful and yet with a poignant detachment, much like 'The News' although it burns it slips away into the expected. Juris thank you 😍 Quote https://www.facebook.com/poetjohncompton Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poetjohncompton Posted January 14, 2020 Author Share Posted January 14, 2020 On 1/9/2020 at 11:13 PM, badger11 said: A powerful, heartfelt write that will connect to many readers. best Phil thank you badger ☺️ Quote https://www.facebook.com/poetjohncompton Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poetjohncompton Posted January 14, 2020 Author Share Posted January 14, 2020 On 1/12/2020 at 6:24 PM, tonyv said: I don't even want to think about it, and I can barely read this. The poem's power springs from its ever-so-slight sense of detachment. Tony it was an emotional time but luckily she pulled through thank you 😊 Quote https://www.facebook.com/poetjohncompton Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poetjohncompton Posted January 14, 2020 Author Share Posted January 14, 2020 On 1/12/2020 at 6:39 PM, dcmarti1 said: Death as Spring, awakening and fattening. Phenom. awe thank you bunches 😁 Quote https://www.facebook.com/poetjohncompton Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tinker Posted January 17, 2020 Share Posted January 17, 2020 Wow John, I was relieved to read in the reply thread that she pulled through, but the poem is very moving and there are truths in it that are not changed by the favorable outcome. Great insight into another facing death. I'm glad you have returned here to share your talent. Thank you. ~~Judi 1 Quote ~~ © ~~ Poems by Judi Van Gorder ~~ For permission to use this work you can write to Tinker1111@icloud.com Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
A. Baez Posted January 18, 2020 Share Posted January 18, 2020 This is a tight and powerful poem. Really interesting title! I guess I'd like it even better if it connected directly to something in the poem--some reference to eating soup. I do agree with what others have said about the power of the slight detachment here. You say relatively little, and that says it all. The minimum of specifics allows readers to bring their own similar experiences or imaginings to the poem. I thought that putting "I prepare myself" in parentheses was an interesting and effective approach. I also found it interesting that I wound up reading "& not in a pretend way" to refer to that line in parentheses, and not to the line that preceded it, which would be the grammatically correct interpretation. In any case, both interpretations work here, which adds interest. Your phrasing of kidneys actually "becoming" cirrhosis threw me a bit at first, but then struck me as an intriguing intentional rhetorical construction emphasizing the all-consuming nature of disease. If there were some way to present this phrase while making it more clear that this was no grammatical accident, that would be even better. Quote i write, occasionally, when she was a functioning alcoholic, or when it made a poem more interesting. Did you mean "wrote"? And, are you saying you wrote when it made a poem more interesting? If so, how does that make sense? It's funny, the first several times I read this, I assumed that you meant you wrote about your mother's condition when it made a poem more interesting, but then I realized you hadn't actually said that at all. If that is what you meant, I'd say I appreciate the cynical candor. Quote she is used to the idea of dying. is so powerful, especially in just the context in which it arises here. And I agree with Marti--the irony of spring ripening death is so pungent. I'm so glad that this situation turned around, in real life. P. S. I hope you saw my reply to your reply to my comments on your "learning to love my new body." I know they came after a slight pause! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poetjohncompton Posted October 17, 2021 Author Share Posted October 17, 2021 On 1/17/2020 at 11:38 AM, Tinker said: Wow John, I was relieved to read in the reply thread that she pulled through, but the poem is very moving and there are truths in it that are not changed by the favorable outcome. Great insight into another facing death. I'm glad you have returned here to share your talent. Thank you. ~~Judi thank you for your lovely comment and hugs Quote https://www.facebook.com/poetjohncompton Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poetjohncompton Posted October 17, 2021 Author Share Posted October 17, 2021 On 1/18/2020 at 1:54 PM, A. Baez said: This is a tight and powerful poem. Really interesting title! I guess I'd like it even better if it connected directly to something in the poem--some reference to eating soup. I do agree with what others have said about the power of the slight detachment here. You say relatively little, and that says it all. The minimum of specifics allows readers to bring their own similar experiences or imaginings to the poem. I thought that putting "I prepare myself" in parentheses was an interesting and effective approach. I also found it interesting that I wound up reading "& not in a pretend way" to refer to that line in parentheses, and not to the line that preceded it, which would be the grammatically correct interpretation. In any case, both interpretations work here, which adds interest. Your phrasing of kidneys actually "becoming" cirrhosis threw me a bit at first, but then struck me as an intriguing intentional rhetorical construction emphasizing the all-consuming nature of disease. If there were some way to present this phrase while making it more clear that this was no grammatical accident, that would be even better. Did you mean "wrote"? And, are you saying you wrote when it made a poem more interesting? If so, how does that make sense? It's funny, the first several times I read this, I assumed that you meant you wrote about your mother's condition when it made a poem more interesting, but then I realized you hadn't actually said that at all. If that is what you meant, I'd say I appreciate the cynical candor. is so powerful, especially in just the context in which it arises here. And I agree with Marti--the irony of spring ripening death is so pungent. I'm so glad that this situation turned around, in real life. P. S. I hope you saw my reply to your reply to my comments on your "learning to love my new body." I know they came after a slight pause! oh well isnt this a comment to ponder on. soon I shall post the revised version for you. thank you for all this and the thoughts. and I meant wrote lol Quote https://www.facebook.com/poetjohncompton Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JoelJosol Posted October 30, 2021 Share Posted October 30, 2021 I agree with A. Baez, the line "she is used to the idea of dying" caught my attention too. 1 Quote "Words are not things, and yet they are not non-things either." - Ann Lauterbach Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.