Bloodyday Posted May 22, 2009 Share Posted May 22, 2009 I will never ask you Why your tears so colorless I will never ask you Why your sorrows let you down I will never ask you Why your hands don’t hold mine I will only ask to Fly like butterfly With your tiny little smile You will be, then, my cute firefly Spreading the light of happiness All over my paradise You couldn’t forget your past For why the world becomes harder To survive a breath or to catch a kiss A constant frustration in your heart Claps like mocking clown That sounds like piercing my world Having thousands wounds We cry in silence screams Only the tears may sooth the pains You sit still and I watch the pain Your silent complains make me insane! That’s why you runaway I will follow your footsteps You hide your tears I will catch the drops You sit like a fallen queen Please let me be your fallen king! I saw your oceans cripples in thousand waves Catches the shore with thousands complains Shore has nothing left, but to hear Spoils it’s edge without care Sorrows made him solid Like the rock that shed no more! I will make you fly in wide blue sky To make you watch the world How beautiful without recession Or tension! We lived a beautiful life, waiting for more Flying like fireflies, it’s time to score! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tonyv Posted May 22, 2009 Share Posted May 22, 2009 Very trance-like, Rony. This one has a mesmerizing effect. The way you depict the anxiety and helplessness is first-rate -- A constant frustration in your heart Claps like mocking clown That sounds like piercing my world ... You sit still and I watch the pain Your silent complains make me insane! -- and the way you characterize the one whom you languish for evokes a special kind of longing and loneness that can't be described in any other way: You sit like a fallen queen Please let me be your fallen king! The end is upbeat: I will make you fly in wide blue sky To make you watch the world How beautiful without recession Or tension! We lived a beautiful life, waiting for more Flying like fireflies, it’s time to score! Thus, the poem takes me to a number of different levels. I relish the highs and lows. Tony Quote Here is a link to an index of my works on this site: tonyv's Member Archive topic Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Larsen M. Callirhoe Posted May 22, 2009 Share Posted May 22, 2009 very poetic and beautiful imagrery and sckemes. loved it. enjoyable read. vic Quote Larsen M. Callirhoe Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rumisong Posted May 22, 2009 Share Posted May 22, 2009 Great Soul in this work- I especially liked these lines: You couldn’t forget your past For why the world becomes harder To survive a breath or to catch a kiss A constant frustration in your heart Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aleksandra Posted May 22, 2009 Share Posted May 22, 2009 Rony, wonderful expressed poem. The metaphors works nicely and gives sensitive and poetical sound to the poem I especially love this expression: To survive a breath or to catch a kiss and then this wonderful metaphor: Claps like mocking clown That sounds like piercing my world Having thousands wounds I enjoyed your poem Rony. It's well written. Aleksandra Quote The poet is a liar who always speaks the truth - Jean Cocteau History of Macedonia Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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