Jump to content
Poetry Magnum Opus

#tonyv 4/17-4/26 2020


tonyv

Recommended Posts

At Jacky's1

My sweetest love, I will stand still for you!
Now, you -- here, next to me -- out on the path,
then at the Galaxie, our two long straws 
submerging into a ceramic bowl.
Sushi, an arachnid's sting, and families.
Then, you -- in front of me -- with the light low
and the room spinning, no place else to go,
nowhere I would rather go, just you.

 

1. Jacky's Galaxie: an Asian/fusion restaurant

  • Like 1

Here is a link to an index of my works on this site: tonyv's Member Archive topic

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Jacky’s should pay you for permission to put this in an ad or on their menu.

This is really good.  

2 hours ago, tonyv said:

Then, you -- in front of me -- with the light low
and the room spinning, no place else to go,
nowhere I would rather go, just you.

Who knew you were such a romantic?

~~Judi

  • Like 1
  • Thanks 1

~~ © ~~ Poems by Judi Van Gorder ~~

For permission to use this work you can write to Tinker1111@icloud.com

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Judi & Juris, thank you both very much. I know it's my poetry month submittal for the past ten days, but this one was start to finish yesterday in less than an hour. For that little time, it's the best I could do.

Tony :happy:

  • Like 1

Here is a link to an index of my works on this site: tonyv's Member Archive topic

Link to comment
Share on other sites

39 minutes ago, tonyv said:

but this one was start to finish yesterday in less than an hour. For that little time, it's the best I could do.

Tony :happy:

Then you have no excuses..... Where are the rest of the poems?  You owe us 9. 😍

~~Judi

  • Like 1
  • Haha 1

~~ © ~~ Poems by Judi Van Gorder ~~

For permission to use this work you can write to Tinker1111@icloud.com

Link to comment
Share on other sites

 

Quote

our two long straws 
submerging into a ceramic bowl.

There's something really awesome about this line! Vaguely humorous and entirely visceral, in-the-moment.

Quote

Sushi, an archnid's sting, and families.

Hmm, an interesting and mysterious trio. I think you meant "arachnid"?

"Bowl/low/go" works well, a sprinkling of rhyme like pepper on a meal.

Quote

and the room spinning, no place else to go,
nowhere I would rather go, just you.

Mmm, I can only wonder what makes the room spin--a delightful drink, some fancy lighting, the drunkenness of love, or some potent cocktail thereof!

Quote

nowhere I would rather go, just you.

I like the idea of a person being framed as a destination.

Finally, you've widened your orbit out of the Waterside Lounge--nice to see! I think Jacky's brings out your civility. 😉

  • Thanks 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

1 minute ago, A. Baez said:

Hmm, an interesting and mysterious trio. I think you meant "arachnid"?

Thank you! It's a typo, and I fixed it. But it's not so mysterious if you've ever shared a Scorpion Bowl. 🧉 (Scorpions aren't spiders, but they are arachnids!)

4 minutes ago, A. Baez said:

Mmm, I can only wonder what makes the room spin--a delightful drink, some fancy lighting, the drunkenness of love, or some potent cocktail thereof!

Any and all of it. :happy:

5 minutes ago, A. Baez said:

I like the idea of a person being framed as a destination.

I like how you've characterized it.

7 minutes ago, A. Baez said:

Finally, you've widened your orbit out of the Waterside Lounge--nice to see! I think Jacky's brings out your civility. 😉

What had you said some time back, something about contradictions? 😏

Thank you very much for your kind remarks,

Tony

Here is a link to an index of my works on this site: tonyv's Member Archive topic

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Quote

...it's not so mysterious if you've ever shared a Scorpion Bowl. 🧉

I looked up a recipe--no scorpions! 😲

Quote

What had you said some time back, something about contradictions? 😏

Dr. Jekyll is on the ascendant!! Cherish the moment. 🎆

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

By using this site, you agree to our Guidelines.