badger11 Posted July 11 Share Posted July 11 revision This gaudy thing bobbing in burlesque offers a bawdy dance and even mimes some teasing slapstick fun. Her tinsel dreams of screen star fame faded with the talkies because her country accent was never posh. She strips without a blush. Hears the applause. I light a cigar for images say it best like a hard slap and through the fug breathe in my cunning schemes. I applaud my craft. original This gaudy thing bobbing in burlesque offers a bawdy dance and even mimes some teasing slapstick fun. Her tinsel dreams of screen star fame faded with the talkies because a Brummie accent was never posh. She strips without a blush. Hears the applause. I light a cigar for images say it best like a hard slap and through the fug breathe in my cunning schemes. I applaud my craft. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
tonyv Posted July 12 Share Posted July 12 On 7/11/2020 at 2:50 AM, badger11 said: This gaudy thing bobbing in burlesque offers a bawdy dance and even mimes some teasing slapstick fun. Her tinsel dreams of screen star fame faded with the talkies because a Brummie accent was never posh. She strips without a blush. Hears the applause. I light a cigar for images say it best like a hard slap and through the fug breathe in my cunning schemes. I applaud my craft. This is great work, Phil. It's very much to my taste. You do a terrific job "showing" and even seem to say so in L7 -- "I light a cigar for images say it best" -- and "fug" is a great choice, a word I've never seen before. Tony Quote Here is a link to an index of my works on this site: tonyv's Member Archive topic Link to post Share on other sites
badger11 Posted July 13 Author Share Posted July 13 Quote -- and "fug" is a great choice, a word I've never seen before. Pleased you liked that word Tony. I'm attracted by little words that deliver meaning and sonics rather than latinate polysyllables. I've tweaked the title. cheers Phil 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Tinker Posted July 15 Share Posted July 15 Nice one Badge, of course I had to google a Brummie accent and thanks for "fug", can't wait to use it. You paint a clear picture here despite the fog of smoke. I liked it a lot. ~~Judi Quote ~~ © ~~ Poems by Judi Van Gorder ~~ For permission to use this work you can write to Tinker1111@icloud.com Link to post Share on other sites
badger11 Posted July 16 Author Share Posted July 16 Thank you Judi. It's good of you to research some of the vernacular. all the best Phil Quote Link to post Share on other sites
dr_con Posted August 7 Share Posted August 7 This is a stunning piece Phil. It evokes a time and place transporting it into the present. A very Time Traveling proficient poem. Love it! Quote https://conjurd.substack.com/welcome Come on over and check out my poetry substack y'all;-) Link to post Share on other sites
badger11 Posted August 8 Author Share Posted August 8 Thank you very much Juris and good luck with your new project (I'm still pondering your latest poem!) best Phil Quote Link to post Share on other sites
JoelJosol Posted August 27 Share Posted August 27 Phil, you are describing a striptease in some smoke-filled club, right? What a nice way to describe such mundane slice of life. I like the phrase "bobbing in burlesque". But I missed the part about the "craft". Was it referring to a painting or other artwork? Quote "Words are not things, and yet they are not non-things either." - Ann Lauterbach Link to post Share on other sites
badger11 Posted August 27 Author Share Posted August 27 Quote But I missed the part about the "craft". Was it referring to a painting or other artwork? Thank you Joel. I was referencing the craft of manipulation. all the best Phil Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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