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Poetry Magnum Opus

Storm


eclipse

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Two storms on different seas,  candle of angels between them, twin flames, dance between consciences in conflict. The advance of second Incarnation, sage navigates collapsed suns that are like driftwood, his subjects contemplate fear, revolution, like a sphinx being offered a drink from two different sources.

Waved are like fingers aching for contact with a cross, storms on land messiahs blood in a different form. Crown born cry emanates from a dreaming mother.
  

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Your poem is a collage of images, and full of associations while at the same time not losing the sound and rhythm of its music. 

Storms, blood, conflict, fear and cry all paint powerful emotion words that represent to me as reader, turmoil.

 

"Words are not things, and yet they are not non-things either." - Ann Lauterbach

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  • 2 weeks later...
David W. Parsley

Hi Barry, I like the possibilities of this piece, but it feels unfinished.  A different take on the recurring theme of a Second Coming, a la WBY.  Might I suggest the "waves" simile opening the last paragraph would move the poem with truer force if it were made a personification?

Thanks,
- David

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