JoelJosol Posted December 31, 2020 Share Posted December 31, 2020 You used my pant's pocket as drop box slipping into it a note (a raffle entry to win your heart maybe?) signed with your name, I bet. It was New Year's Eve when I pulled it out in time for the fireworks lighting up my face, breaking out into a smile. Quote "Words are not things, and yet they are not non-things either." - Ann Lauterbach Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
David W. Parsley Posted January 9, 2021 Share Posted January 9, 2021 Joel, I like the playful, flirty feel of this piece. It tantalizes me with missing details: where did this sleight-of-hand occur? Was there a look exchanged? Did you know at the time? What kind of light prefigured fireworks in the other's gaze? etc. - David Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JoelJosol Posted January 9, 2021 Author Share Posted January 9, 2021 Thanks, David. That is exactly the intent, for the reader to supply their own details for their own personal experience of the poem. Quote "Words are not things, and yet they are not non-things either." - Ann Lauterbach Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tonyv Posted January 25, 2021 Share Posted January 25, 2021 Joel, this one works for me. I like how it begins with a "secret" which, by the end of the poem, has come to light and brought on delight. I like how you pack the gambling trope into the second verse ("raffle" followed by "I bet") which seems to lead naturally into the third and fourth couplets: from "casino" to New Year's Eve festivities. Quote Here is a link to an index of my works on this site: tonyv's Member Archive topic Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JoelJosol Posted January 26, 2021 Author Share Posted January 26, 2021 Thanks Tony. I am glad that the gambling trope added interest in the figuring out of the unknown. Quote "Words are not things, and yet they are not non-things either." - Ann Lauterbach Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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