Jump to content
Poetry Magnum Opus

before I forget


goldenlangur

Recommended Posts

goldenlangur

dreams -

under your avocado tree

you and I sit

before I forget you’ve died

will you talk to me?

 

 

 

 

goldenlangur

goldenlangur

 

 

Even a single enemy is too many and a thousand friends too few - Bhutanese saying.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

dreams -

under your avocado tree

you and I sit

before I forget you’ve died

will you talk to me?

 

 

goldenlangur

 

Goldenlangur, I adore this short poem. It is amazing. Deep and emotional. And so clever question, before becomes late for anything...

Wonderful expressed. And wonderful imagery.

 

Aleksandra

The poet is a liar who always speaks the truth - Jean Cocteau

History of Macedonia

 

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I like how this starts out with a recognition of the dream-like state. It then shifts logically into otherworldliness. I wonder if you meant to say "remember you've died" rather than "forget you've died"? But either way works for me: something in this poem tells me the narrator will never forget.

 

Tony

Here is a link to an index of my works on this site: tonyv's Member Archive topic

Link to comment
Share on other sites

goldenlangur

" before its too late "

 

Hi Aleksandra,

 

 

You read well that sense that it may dissipate before one can grasp it.

 

 

... question, before becomes late for anything...

Aleksandra

 

 

Thank-you very much for a great response.

 

goldenlangur

goldenlangur

 

 

Even a single enemy is too many and a thousand friends too few - Bhutanese saying.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

goldenlangur

'remember'

 

Hi Tony,

 

 

You're quite spot on - I began with 'remember' and then changed to 'forget' to get a sense of clinging on and then a shift from dream to reality.

Certainly never to forget, you observe so perceptively.

 

 

Thank-you very much,

 

 

goldenlangur

goldenlangur

 

 

Even a single enemy is too many and a thousand friends too few - Bhutanese saying.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Haunting......but not with a personal regret.....no, not that.......I sense more of a pleasant recollection of something that was too intoxicating for you to 'forget'. Ah, poetry !

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hi gl, I love reading your work. It carries a simple clarity that I never get tired of experiencing.

 

Reading this poem, I was struck by the order of the images....

 

dreams --- you set the tone

under your avacado tree -- your settings always have a uniqueness

you and I sit --- simply stated the who without complication

before I forget you've died --- the surprise - a need to hold on to reality

will you talk to me? --- the twist, the need to hold on to the dream

 

So well done, memorable. I read this poem 3 times, then began my comment, I wrote the entire poem, line for line with small comments from memory... that is how impressive it was.

 

~~Tink

~~ © ~~ Poems by Judi Van Gorder ~~

For permission to use this work you can write to Tinker1111@icloud.com

Link to comment
Share on other sites

goldenlangur

Thank you pawn shop for your thoughts here.

 

Yes, poetry is something to remember and enjoy!

 

 

 

goldenlangur

goldenlangur

 

 

Even a single enemy is too many and a thousand friends too few - Bhutanese saying.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

goldenlangur

How rewarding!

 

 

Hi Tink,

 

How rewarding your detailed review! I appreciate very much how you've looked at the images and the way they link together in this piece.

 

Your perception and the consideration with which you have analyzed this piece are indeed gratifying.

 

 

Thank you so much.

 

goldenlangur

goldenlangur

 

 

Even a single enemy is too many and a thousand friends too few - Bhutanese saying.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

By using this site, you agree to our Guidelines.