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Poetry Magnum Opus

Digs


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My son

buries my feet

in sand with a red spade.

The sun unfolds across the sea,

a blanket warm with gold.

I dream of sleep.

He digs.

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Loved the form and the picture. With those few words you have given me lovely memories of my childhood and fatherhood.

 

Thanks

 

rg

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My son

buries my feet

in sand with a red spade.

The sun unfolds across the sea,

a blanket warm with gold.

I dream of sleep.

He digs.

 

A serene moment. Seems to say, "All is right in the world."

 

Tony

Here is a link to an index of my works on this site: tonyv's Member Archive topic

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I concur. In my case it will be a grandson as well in a year or two. Funny. I have a poem something like that.

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How meaning solidifies around consensus, how childhood defines our understanding of the world!

 

many thanks everyone

 

badge

Edited by badger11
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badger11 wrote:

 

My son

buries my feet

in sand with a red spade.

The sun unfolds across the sea,

a blanket warm with gold.

I dream of sleep.

He digs.

 

This is materpiece badge. The poem is covered with a style, sound, and all of that what makes a real quality poem.

 

Im impresed.

 

Aleksandra

The poet is a liar who always speaks the truth - Jean Cocteau

History of Macedonia

 

 

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Thank you Aleks. I was on holiday with my family when I wrote this, far away from the sea, in a wooded area - but trees often make me think of the sea icon_rolleyes.gif

 

badge :0)

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Hi Badge, This is brilliant! I love the color, the texture, and the vivid contrasts.. I was touched in a way that only a child can touch. Magic~~.

 

Cool nonce form, I couldn't match it with any verse forms that I have documented so far. Septet made up of syllabic lines 2-4-6-8-6-4-2. Something like the Diamonte only strictly syllabic or the Crapsey Cinquain with an extra 10 syllables in 2 extra lines. Maybe this should be called the Badger Septet. (Sorry, couldn't resist. But that is how verse form happens. We just need to get a few thousand others to use the same frame and a new verse form takes center stage. ) icon_wink.gif I love it! ~~Tink

~~ © ~~ Poems by Judi Van Gorder ~~

For permission to use this work you can write to Tinker1111@icloud.com

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  • 3 weeks later...
goldenlangur

Hi badge,

 

The contrast between the immediacy of the child's action - there's sand, a red spade and his father's feet. Why not use them all? ;) - and the adult's more abstracted taking in of the colours of the sun on the sea, is brilliant!

 

A meeting of two aesthetics. Warmth, resignation and an acuteness of sensibility makes this a great read.

 

goldenlangur

goldenlangur

 

 

Even a single enemy is too many and a thousand friends too few - Bhutanese saying.

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