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it's gonna rain


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it's gonna rain

 

It's gonna rain (it's gonna rain)

I said it's gonna rain (it's gonna rain)

Yes, it's gonna rain (it's gonna rain.)

I'm so happy to say (it's gonna rain)

Oh it's gonna rain (it's gonna rain) on the world today-The Violent Femmes

 

There was a woman

her white dirty blouse fell open

revealing a lateral scar

by the way she was nodding

and coughing

the reason

her chest

cracked open

was back

 

There was a woman

on the MUNI bus

I heard her humming

something sad and low

maybe she bought her pals

a pack of cigarettes

to share with her friends

on this cold and cloudy day

 

There was a Lodge man

who calls them Pigeons

circling crumbs

tobacco short snacks

 

A lonely man by and by

three fraction bags of bread crumbs

in his hand, I hear him singing

"There was a woman"

while chasing the seagulls away

 

and I wonder

with hearts this broken

can we still feel the rain?

Gate(less.thumb.png.dc23b19d2478d37a9f6fcdc563973026.pnghttps://conjurd.substack.com/welcome Come on over and check out my poetry substack y'all;-)

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Frank E Gibbard

I read your poem. That's it DC, I read somewhere that's enough for you to be content. I'm off. No really I think this deseves a bit more - in the Brendan debate - if it's that - I haven't commented on that thread it seemed a bit lairy as we say if you know what that means. I'm not the keenest on critiquing neither but try obviously. I gave a longer review on PC but will repeat just that I had in mind Midnight Cowboy with a seedy feel this slice of life emitted I felt. It was worth the investment of my imagining your story and its cast of characters. Frank

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This one kind of gave me the blues, Dr. Con. No harm in that. Thanks for taking me to that familiar comfort zone.

 

Tony

Here is a link to an index of my works on this site: tonyv's Member Archive topic

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Hi D_C,

 

This is an easy read compared with your other poems. The first stanza reads like a song to me especially the words in parentheses sound like a refrain. (what's the function in your mind when you wrote it?) And the rest of it, it's so lonely with a comparison of a woman and a man. The line "while chasing the seagulls away

" is beautifully sad.

 

Lake

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Tony, Lake, Frank- I appreciate the feedback- a sad poem for sad times;-)

 

The first stanza is an extended quote from the Band "Violent Femmes"- A favorite band of mine in the 80's. I had hoped that it would predispose the reader to 'hearing' the music in my head when reading this;-) Here's the actual song:

 

Much appreciation!

 

DC

Gate(less.thumb.png.dc23b19d2478d37a9f6fcdc563973026.pnghttps://conjurd.substack.com/welcome Come on over and check out my poetry substack y'all;-)

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  • 2 weeks later...

Wonderful sound of a poem DC. The refrain of the song is wonderful and it is a nice opening of this poem. Goes with the same spirit. You expressed on amazing way. I like a lot the part where you unwrapped the woman - as badge said.

 

I loved this one.

 

Aleksandra

The poet is a liar who always speaks the truth - Jean Cocteau

History of Macedonia

 

 

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