tonyv Posted June 4, 2012 Share Posted June 4, 2012 Within a rising swell a moonlit trunk, a bobbing no one, overwhelmed, not sunk, will ride the tide till bottom disappears, and let it; deeper depths are new frontiers. No sunrise will assure that there's a shore, no going home when home is there no more. Quote Here is a link to an index of my works on this site: tonyv's Member Archive topic Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dr_con Posted June 4, 2012 Share Posted June 4, 2012 A succinct deep read. Enjoyed greatly! Many thanks Juris Quote thegateless.org Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
badger11 Posted June 4, 2012 Share Posted June 4, 2012 The poem seems to reference the absence of the person through the 'moonlit trunk'. The loss of the home could relate both to a physical destruction or the break up of a relationship. Perhaps possessions have been deliberately discarded to move on. Hope you don't mind me constructing a narrative, but the poem invites a story and I inclined to one beyond a 'natural disaster' (a buoy signifies a hazard?). badge Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frank E Gibbard Posted June 5, 2012 Share Posted June 5, 2012 Like icebergs, more than meets the eye. Am I sensing a double meaning, sounding like boy too. The metaphor sits in deep meaning tethered to its fixed point but bobbing on the spot. Short but pithy and conveying much. Enjoyed engaging. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Larsen M. Callirhoe Posted June 6, 2012 Share Posted June 6, 2012 been awhile since i seen a poem from you amigo. this one delivers a poignant message. it has dual meaning as in relationships and to as taking chances in life. if you don't going fishing with caution you will not know if you hook something delicious lol. enjoyed. victor Quote Larsen M. Callirhoe Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Benjamin Posted June 7, 2012 Share Posted June 7, 2012 A well worked brief but enigmatic piece: it tantalizes the reader with metaphors and as badge says, "invites a story". Enjoyed. B. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tonyv Posted June 12, 2012 Author Share Posted June 12, 2012 A succinct deep read. Enjoyed greatly! Many thanks Juris Thanks, Juris. The "deep" read made me smile. Tony Quote Here is a link to an index of my works on this site: tonyv's Member Archive topic Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tonyv Posted June 12, 2012 Author Share Posted June 12, 2012 The poem seems to reference the absence of the person through the 'moonlit trunk'. The loss of the home could relate both to a physical destruction or the break up of a relationship. Perhaps possessions have been deliberately discarded to move on. Hope you don't mind me constructing a narrative, but the poem invites a story and I inclined to one beyond a 'natural disaster' (a buoy signifies a hazard?). badge I'm glad you caught the "trunk" part, Badge. I was hoping someone would associate "trunk" with "torso." And your narrative is exactly what I was going for. I always appreciate your close reads and thoughtful replies -- thank you. Tony Quote Here is a link to an index of my works on this site: tonyv's Member Archive topic Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tonyv Posted June 12, 2012 Author Share Posted June 12, 2012 Like icebergs, more than meets the eye. Am I sensing a double meaning, sounding like boy too. The metaphor sits in deep meaning tethered to its fixed point but bobbing on the spot. Short but pithy and conveying much. Enjoyed engaging. I like buoy/boy, Frank. Very nice association. Thank you for your kind reply. Tony Quote Here is a link to an index of my works on this site: tonyv's Member Archive topic Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tonyv Posted June 12, 2012 Author Share Posted June 12, 2012 been awhile since i seen a poem from you amigo. this one delivers a poignant message. it has dual meaning as in relationships and to as taking chances in life. if you don't going fishing with caution you will not know if you hook something delicious lol. enjoyed. victor Yes, Victor, I do try to give you six lines every eighteen months, lol. Point well taken on the chances and the fishing ... Thank you! Tony Quote Here is a link to an index of my works on this site: tonyv's Member Archive topic Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tonyv Posted June 12, 2012 Author Share Posted June 12, 2012 A well worked brief but enigmatic piece: it tantalizes the reader with metaphors and as badge says, "invites a story". Enjoyed. B. And thank you, Benjamin. I like when a work invites a story. That in itself is a small success whenever it happens. Tony Quote Here is a link to an index of my works on this site: tonyv's Member Archive topic Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
David W. Parsley Posted June 17, 2012 Share Posted June 17, 2012 Not much to add to the above, just noting my appreciation, Tony. Disappears-frontiers makes a nice rhyme couple here. - Dave Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tinker Posted July 6, 2012 Share Posted July 6, 2012 Hi Tony, This is good for so many reasons. The imagery creates multiple scenarios in my mind... The most vivid for me was a man tredding water in the middle of a sea with no land in sight... this could have so many implications, survival, desparation, castaway and for me a loneliness which is not without hope. I see him upright and calmly searching inexplicably in control. (new frontiers) I love the form you create in this 2 tercets, iambic pentameter lines with a rhyme scheme aab bcc.. It was all that was needed to place this vivid impression on me. This is well written and well worth any wait. ~~Tink Quote ~~ © ~~ Poems by Judi Van Gorder ~~ For permission to use this work you can write to Tinker1111@icloud.com Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tonyv Posted August 10, 2012 Author Share Posted August 10, 2012 Thank you Dave and Tink for your kind replies. I appreciate them a lot. Dave, I like disappears/frontiers, too. Thanks for mentioning it. Tink, I'm glad you noted the tercets. It wasn't just randomly broken up like that. The poem just wasn't right as one verse despite the rhyming couplets. I think the break into tercets was what it needed. Tony Quote Here is a link to an index of my works on this site: tonyv's Member Archive topic Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Larsen M. Callirhoe Posted August 17, 2012 Share Posted August 17, 2012 tony what you write is well worth the read. i have read this several times and see the layered-depth of the comments of our fellow magnum opus poet friends. great write and i agree with tinker aka judy. victor Quote Larsen M. Callirhoe Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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