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Lost


Lake
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At a loon's call,

I search for you

in the whispers

of reeds that sway,

blurring my view.

By a path,

a hopping frog

leads me to

a misty river,

in the ruffling water

I hear you,

an alluring voice.

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So much is going on in this relatively short poem, Lake. There's lovely imagery in the whispers/of reeds that sway, and the part about the hopping frog made me smile.

 

While a search can certainly be painstaking, there's a sereneness to this whole scene. It seems the search has not been fruitless.

 

Tony

Here is a link to an index of my works on this site: tonyv's Member Archive topic

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Hi Lake,

 

A great evocation of sounds : loon's call, whisper of the reeds, even the hopping frog brings to mind Basho's frog renting the ancient silence of the pond.

 

 

I wonder if you need the final line? I hear you suggests so much - perhaps let the reader come to what it might be?

 

Just a thought - please feel free to ignore my comment if you think it's off the mark.

 

Thank you.

goldenlangur

 

 

Even a single enemy is too many and a thousand friends too few - Bhutanese saying.

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Thanks, Tony. Glad you like the imagery. Yes, you are right, it's not a fruitless search.

 

Golden, I agree the last line can go - less is more.

 

Thank you both.

 

Lake

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Wonderful work, Lake. The ruffling water works wonderful, makes a good composition of metaphors and express that feeling of being lost.

 

Thank you lake.

 

Aleksandra

The poet is a liar who always speaks the truth - Jean Cocteau

History of Macedonia

 

 

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Lake,

 

Another beautiful work, a simple reflection on seeking, "for what?" the reader asks, and in the concrete images and sounds, the answer is simply "This"

 

 

Well done,

 

 

DC&J

thegateless.org Come on over and check out my poetry substack y'all;-) Or if your bored, head to the Zazzle store: https://www.zazzle.com/store/gateless. If you buy anything I lose a bet, so consider that before you violate the digital rules.

 

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